Badge of the Ultimate Star Jam Fighter

The Little Star Jam Fighter

Enter The Fray!

The audio clip was a familiar one to Markaius Alsaten; the arcade game Star Jam Fighters played it regularly during attract mode just as it started playing its demonstration game or when he started a level. He played the game every time Mom and Dad went there to buy groceries every Friday afternoon after picking him and his siblings up from school. The side-scrolling space shooter had sat near the entrance of the Highwood Gas and Grocery for as long as the young dog could remember. He knew from one of the game’s Attract Mode screens that one could earn badges—actual physical badges!—by accomplishing various objectives such as finishing the game, doing the side quests, or not taking any damage. The screen that displayed the full set of badges showed the address for Characo Games—the company that made the cabinet—whither photographic proof of these accomplishments could be sent, and the company would mail back the badges the player had earned. Those that had earned all the badges in a single playthrough would receive the ultimate prize: The Badge of the Ultimate Star Jam Fighter.

Markaius knew he would get that ultimate badge one day. He had made it his goal to perfect the game and get that ultimate badge so he could show it to his older cousin Kraggan, who was a programmer for video games, highly-experienced computer technician, and champion of several low-level gaming tournaments. He also mopped the virtual floor with Markaius every time they competed. But for this game, Kraggan had only the badge for completing it and Markaius wanted to get the entire set so that he could say that in one game, he had beaten his cousin. And so, every time his parents came to buy groceries, he would make a beeline for the game and drop a quarter in to play it.

Every week he hoped he would be able to finally beat it before his parents finished their grocery shopping. He already knew the first five levels by heart and, despite how often he’d seen it, the initial text screen never ceased to make his tail wag.

The year is 2525. The Furry Space Alliance has known peace for hundreds of years. But all that has changed. The evil Black Void Tyrant is intent on conquering the galaxy, and has sent his Dark Star fleet to invade the peaceful Furry Space Alliance

You, a champion Star Jam Fighter, have been sent to face this fearsome army and to take down the Black Void Tyrant.

Do not fail this mission! The Alliance needs you!

He tapped one of the buttons to continue, his tail wagging faster. The cabinet had a few oddities. He knew why it had a joystick and there were three colours of buttons—the blue buttons fired his primary weapon, his white buttons gave his shield a temporary boost, and the red buttons fired his special weapon that used Unnilennium-278 torpedoes (these were dropped by destroyed enemies)—but why there were six of these buttons arranged in two rows with the three colours paired vertically was a mystery to him. The light gun made absolutely no sense. Markaius was sure that he would understand it all when he aced the game.

Level I: Port Invasion

The forces of the Black Void Tyrant’s vanguard, commanded by the brutal commander Morghass Torgh, are trying to conquer Fort Balsoth. Civilians flee for their lives as enemy craft swarm the port. Take out his vanguard, but be careful not to harm any of the fleeing civilians.

He tapped a button again, and the phrase Enter The Fray! played. The game started off with a swarm of grey and red enemy ships flying towards the ship Markaius controlled and firing constantly at him. Civillian ships were cyan and white and flying away from the port. He’d mastered this level back when he still needed a stepstool to reach the controls. His shots were made with the precision of much practice, taking out each enemy ship while the civilian ships got nary a ding. He even managed to keep enemy ships from landing in a bay with a door that had been blown in. The enemy ships dropped canisters of Unnilennium-278 Torpedoes, the ammunition for his ship’s special weapon. WHile these torpedoes would one-shot any of the smaller ships, he needed it for for the boss, Morghass Torgh. He also knew where powerups such as double-fire, spread fire, and shield upgrades would appear, making it a cinch for him to get them all.

Soon he was up against the massive ship of Morghass Torgh himself, which sent out wave after wave of torpedoes he either shot down or dodged and smaller ships which Markaius dispatched with ease, whereupon they would drop more UNE-278 torpedoes. Sometimes Morghass Torgh’s ship would capture a civilian craft, and Markaius had to shoot it free. And between rescuing civilian ships and taking out enemies, he managed to take out Morghass Torgh’s ship with well-placed shots of his hoarded UNE torpedoes.

Level I: Port Invasion Results

Damage Suffered:	0
Civilian Ships Damaged/Destroyed:	0/0
Enemies Destroyed:	100%
Powerups Gathered:	100%
UNE Torpedoes Gathered:	100%

Level II: Red Star Gauntlet

Morghass Torgh has fallen, but as his ship disintigrates, it sends out a signal to a distant system. You feel a chill as you recognize where it is going: a powerful evil being known only as the Red Star. The rest of the vanguard must be there, guarded by the vile stellar entity.

This level was a bit more challenging. It had more enemies and in greater variety with different firing patterns—at least they still dropped the all-important Unnilennium-278 torpedoes. Moreover, the Red Star—a constant presence in the background—would try to send up flares which could do tremendous damage to the ship.

Like the first level, Markaius had long mastered this one; the way the star flickered told him where the flare would pop up and what shape it would be, making it easy to avoid it. The only thing Markaius couldn’t do was damage one particularly large ship which appeared midway through the level, never mind defeat the thing. Not even the special ammunition seemed to do anything to it, so he just avoided it.

The boss of this level was a massive standing pillar of fire that was called The Living Flare, and it could only be hurt by the special ammunition that was dropped by destroyed vanguard vessels throughought the level. If you didn’t pick up enough ammunition, well you only had yourself to blame, as not only did it drop in such quantities you had to be actively trying to miss it, but you also carried over what special ammunition you had left from the previous level.

Level II: Red Star Gauntlet Results

Damage Suffered:	0
Enemies Destroyed:	99%
Powerups Gathered:	99%
UNE-278 Torpedoes Gathered:	100%

Level III: The Living Asteroids

With the collapse of the Living Flare, the evil Red Star is forced to go dormant and lick its wounds for the next few centuries. But you’re not in the clear yet, for its asteroids are equally alive, and they seek to avenge their humiliated master. Fight bravely, lest they grind your ship to scrap or, worse, feed you to their leader, the dreaded Mynorgh Plaanetoyd!

This level was a challenge, as his guns could not destroy any but the smallest asteroids in time, so it was mostly dodging. Sure, the Unnilennium-278 torpedoes the little asteroids dropped would blow the larger asteroids in one shot, but again, he was saving them for when he faced Mynorgh Plaanetoyd. And making things even more difficult was a massive white asteroid shaped like a potato with flat spots that chased his ship the entire level.

The Mynorgh Plaanetoyd was sheer bullet hell; it spewed out rocks in waves of at least a dozen, and those rocks would shred your ship if you got hit. At least shooting them dropped more of the UNE-278 torpedoes. The Mynorgh Plaanetoyd itself was an absolute damage sponge—and of course that stupid white asteroid got in on the act, moving up and down in front of the Mynorgh Plaanetoyd and acting like a shield that not even the UNE-278 torpedoes could damage.

Level III: The Living Asteroids

Damage Suffered:	0
Enemies Destroyed:	30%
Powerups Gathered:	25%
UNE-278 Torpedoes Gathered:	10%

Level IV: The Black Hole Accretion Disk

You have blasted the Mynorgh Plaanetoyd to rubble and escaped the Red Star System. But in a final act of spite, The Red Star sends up a feeble flare that makes your navigation system momentarily malfunction. Once you get it working again, you find yourself in the worst place to be in the cosmos: the accretion disk of a black hole. You need to find a way out, or face the ultimate oblivion!

The debris in The Black Hole Accretion Disk forced one to guide the ship up and down through a path, and if Markaius took the wrong path, he’d either collide with something and be sent straight into the black hole (an instakill) or he’d have to turn around and find his way back and pray that the debris field hadn’t disintigrated yet, which meant Markaius’s ship would be sucked back down into the black hole. But Markaius had long memorized the path out and by now it was little more than a breather level; it didn’t even have a boss.

Level V: The Infected Nebula

The Black Void Tyrant’s corruption is felt strongly here. The once-beautiful Girshon Nebula is now crawling with evil space-dwelling vermin, making it a perilous place to be. Lurking deep within is one who was once Furry Space Alliance’s greatest commander but now the Tyrant’s most powerful warlords, the treacherous Lord ThunderStar, who intends to turn the nebula into a breeding ground of his vile creatures. Destroy the creatures, help the trapped civilians escape and take down Lord Thunderstar before the nebula becomes an irredeemable pit of horror!

This level had a change-up of gameplay, as the enemies were now arthropoid creatures of all manner of shapes and sizes—tiny bugs that skittered about the screen and spat projectiles at the ship, long centipede-like monsters that would crawl up and completely block the way unless they were destroyed (headshots took out the creatures in one go; anywhere else only created a gap in their wriggling bodies), and everything in between. He set his jaw, racing through the level and intent on getting to Lord ThunderStar before—

Mark, it’s time to go. We’re done shopping, said Mom, coming up behind Markaius.

But Mom, I wanna—

Mark, we’re done shopping, it is time to go.

But Mom—

Markaius Jothan Alsaten, it is only a game! Let’s go!

Markaius groaned and left the game, knowing it was no use to argue. A worker glanced over at them. You know, ma’am, maybe you should just let him finish the game. Or lose it honestly.

He needs to learn it is just a game, she responded.

Markaus flattened his ears. His mother would never understand how this was more than just a game, it was a quest to prove himself to Kraggan once and for all. As his mother gripped his wrist, he heard the game play the dreaded sound clip You have failed the mission! as his now-uncontrolled ship fell prey to its enemies. Again, the level started, but he was not there to guide the ship through its enemies. You have failed the mission!

You have failed the mission!

You have failed the mission!

Markaius looked back at the game, gritting his teeth with a soft whimper.

The game will be there for you to play next week, Mom said primly. She put her paw on his shoulder and firmly guided him out the door.

The next week arrived, and Markaius knew he would finally finish the fifth level, and maybe even the game! His parents were going to be cooking for a community potluck that was happening on Sunday, and that meant they’d be buying groceries in greater variety and quantity than usual. They might even have to look for some of the ingredients they needed, which would mean even more time for him. As soon as they parked outside the grocery store, Markaius jumped out of his dad’s truck before the older dog put it in park and dashed inside, heading straight for the place where the old game stood.

A soda fridge was there instead.

The Game Comes Home

Markaius stared at the soda fridge, its colourful contents sitting there in silent mockery of his goals. He looked around and tried to listen for the music and sounds of the arcade game in case it had been moved, but all he heard was the sounds of dozens of people shopping for groceries and chatting; the store devoid of any arcade game. Where is it? What’s going on? he wailed.

His confused yelling had attracted attention from all within the store, including its owner Mr. Ottey, who came over. What’s de problem? the ratel asked with his thick Jamaican accent.

Where’s the game? Why isn’t it here? cried the youngster.

You de only one who play it, said Mr. Ottey with a shrug. So me take it out and put fridge in there.

This was the worst thing that could have happened; the game and any chance at those badges had been snatched from his paws. Noooooo! Put it back! pleaded Markaius. He drooped as he saw his parents hurrying over.

What’s going on? asked Dad.

Mr D. threw away Star Jam Fighters! said Markaius.

Oh, good grief! sighed Mom. Like I keep telling you, it’s. Just. A. Game.

Mr. Ottey ignored her. How much money you have?

Markaius pulled four quarters from his pocket, quarters that had once promised adventure and fun, but now just looked pathetic in his paw. A dollar...

Me sell it to you! One dollar!

Durnot, are you sure? asked Markaius’s father.

Yeah, yeah! The dump take it, me pay a lot of money! Me sell it, me don’ pay nothin’!

But... a dollar? I would charge a lot more than that, Durnot, said his mother.

Den who buy it? Mark de only one who play it! He turned to Markaius. One dollar!

Mark handed over his four quarters to Mr. Ottey, and the ratel hurried to the door of the storage area. Hey! Don’ trow out de game! he called into the storage room. Me sell it!

Lemme guess! That pup who plays it every week? came a voice from the back.

Yeah, him!

Tell Jayrod he owes me 20 bucks!

Guess I’ll bring my truck round to the back, said Markaius’s dad.

Markaius’s father backed his truck up to the large bay doors at the back of the store and the family got out. Markaius’s tail became a blur as the bay door opened and Mr. Ottey and a few workers brought the old cabinet out on a dolly. The workers gently tipped the cabinet over and slid it into the truck box. I hope you know how lucky you are, Dad told him.

One of the workers laughed. Come on, Lawry, look at him! If your kid was wagging his tail any harder, he’d throw his back out!

Mr. Ottey gave Markaius a key. Now you can get at de coin box.

I can’t believe you sold it for one measly dollar... said Markaius’s mom.

Durnot held up the quarters with a laugh. Dis one dollar cherry on eighty dollar sundae!

Markaius couldn’t keep his tail still as the precious game was slid into the truck and strapped down. The game was his now, all his! He could play it whenever he wanted, for as long as he wanted. At long last, his parents wouldn’t call him away from the game! He could earn his badges at last!

After the cabinet was secured in the truck box, Markaius got in the back of the truck cab. His tail whacked against the cab back painfully, but he couldn’t stop it wagging short of physically holding it in his paws.

We’re going to make a quick stop to the hardware store, said Dad. Just something I gotta pick up.

But the milk will be spoiled by the time we get home! protested Markaius’s mom.

Doris, the milk won’t even be warm. It’s only a couple of minutes.

Once they got to the hardware store, Dad told Mom and Markaius to just sit tight while he bought something. Soon, he emerged from the store with a small plastic container and a padlock. Markaius, this is a plug lockout. It goes over a plug to keep an electric device from being plugged in. I know you’re excited to have the game, but if your chores or marks start slipping, I am putting this over the plug until things improve. Do you understand?

Markaius’s tail stilled. Yes, Dad.

Good. It’s not that I don’t want you playing this game. I just don’t want it taking over your life. He smiled and ruffled his son between the ears.

When they got home, Dad got a hand truck from the garage and used it to move the game into Markaius’s room. Markaius cleared a space for it, and Dad wrestled it into place.

Dinner is in half an hour, so you won’t have time to play the game until after. Dad warned. You might want to clean it up, though. It’s sat in the same place for a long time. He took the lock off the coin box so Markaius could open it whenever he wanted.

Okay, said Markaius. It did look kind of grungy, so he got some cloths and cleaner, and began to wipe it down. After dinner, he plugged in the game—and stared in horror at the gobbledigook scrolling down the screen. NO! It’s broken!

Dad looked into the room and chuckled at the sight. That’s the boot screen. It’s like any other computer, it needs to boot up. Just wait a little bit, it will be working normally.

True to Dad’s word, soon the start screen showed. Markaius searched his room and found a quarter, and put it in the coin slot, his tail wagging with excitement.

Enter The Fray!

That night, Markaius reached the end of The Infected Nebula and encountered its boss Lord ThunderStar for the first time in his life—and failed miserably against him, failing to score a single hit. No matter how many UNE-278 torpedoes he fired, the shielding spheres that circled in front of Lord Thunderstar’s ship would zap them and cause them to explode prematurely, causing no damage whatsoever. Worse, if he got too close to one of the asteroids flying around, his ship would get stuck and refuse to fire. It took three taps on the buttons to get off the asteroid and each time, Lord ThunderStar would unleash a barrage of projectiles that would destroy him if he stayed on the asteroid; he could only shoot them down with the ship’s guns—which did nothing against Lord ThunderStar.

He took his quarter out of the coin box and tried again. As always, he breezed through The Port Invasion, Red Star Gauntlet, The Living Asteroids, and the Black Hole Accretion Disc on pure muscle memory—only to fall victim to Lord ThunderStar again.

He gave a growl of frustration after the umpteenth failure, fished out his quarter yet again, and put it in.

Enter the Fraaaa-* The screen’s image collapsed to a point before the screen went black.

It’s one in the morning, son, said Dad as he let the plug fall to the floor. Go to bed.

The next morning, Dad laid down some rules: Markaius could only have one game after school no matter how quickly he lost. He could play three games on Saturday and Sunday after he’d finished the day’s chores and he’d done at least half his homework on Saturday and the rest of it on Sunday. After his three games, Markaius could go outside and play or read a book or something other than the cabinet. Like I said, that game is not taking over your life.

After breakfast, Markaius went to do his Saturday chores of mowing the lawn and weeding the garden, before going into his room. He quickly finished up his math homework, blazed through his science and social studies assignments and got ready to tackle Lord ThunderStar again. He had only three games to beat him before he had to quit for the day. Time after time he got stuck on an asteroid and was wiped out by a barrage from the level’s boss. On his third attempt at the boss, he angrily jammed the joystick to the right, while tapping hard on the buttons. The ship released—and the asteroid flew straight forwards and smashed through the shielding spheres, giving him an opening to fire and finally cause damage to Lord Thunderstar. He fell victim once again to the boss’s barrage and lost his third and last game of the day, but now he knew how to beat Lord ThunderStar. And that was enough for now.

The Sunday Potluck was pretty good, though Markaius overheard many people comment on his little freakout. The worst was Mrs. Diryk, looking haughtily genteel in her poodle cut and with her primly raised muzzle. Always quick to position herself as a Pillar Of The Community and Bastion Of Morality And Propriety, she asked Mom, I must wonder how many children your son deprived of the joy of playing that arcade game when he bullied Mr. Ottey into selling it. And for a terrible price, I hear.

Markaius could see the twitch of the eyebrow Mom had when she was was firmly not rolling her eyes. Exactly none, she dismissed. Which is why it was headed for the dump. Which you ought to have known, since I know you complained about its noise at least twice.

Markaius felt relieved that, though his mother had not been pleased with the purchase, she would at least defend him.

That evening, he made a breakthrough—he finally saw Level Six: The Dorogrim Anomaly. It was a very strange level, as little black holes would appear on the screen, their gravity sending his shots and sometimes his ship in wild directions. Unfortunately, one of the blue buttons stopped working partway through the level, leaving him unable to fire his basic weapon unless he used the other blue button. He banged on it several times, but to no avail, and constantly forgetting to use the other led to the inevitable You Have Failed The Mission! When he started from the first level again, he discovered this was no mere level quirk; the button simply wasn’t doing what it was supposed to. He sighed, unplugged the game, going downstairs. Dad? Could you call Mr. Gruffy? I think something on my game is broken for real.

What’s not working, son?

One of the buttons is broken. It won’t do anything. Dad went with his son to watch him play, and Markaius tapped the button over and over again to no avail as he tried to play.

Okay, I see what you mean, said his dad. I’ll go call Mr. Gruffy first thing Monday morning.

The next morning, Dad called Willow Clearing Computers & Electronics, the shop Mr. Gruffy owned, and left a voice on the answering machine. Hello, Mr. Gruffy, this is Dad Alsaten calling. We recently bought the arcade game that sat in the Highwood Gas and Grocery for ages, and one of the buttons quit working. If you could come around sometime and have a look at it, that would be wonderful. Thank you, bye!

Markaius couldn’t help but wag his tail as his dad made the call. After breakfast, Markaius, his older sister Anja, Jaykan, and his mom headed off to the town schools. Markaius and Jaykan parked their bikes in the racks at J. Patience Elementary school and the four dogs embraced before Mom and Anja continued to J. B. Jacques High School where Mom was an English teacher and Anja was in 9^th grade.

News of his buying the arcade cabinet had spread all over the school; much of the local community had been shopping for groceries that day, so of course all their kids had heard him. Several of his friends thought it was really cool he owned an arcade game of his own. Unfortunately, he also had to deal with Anna Diryk, the eldest daughter of Mrs. Diryk and who was—annoyingly—in the same grade and almost all his same classes.

So, I heard you bought a whole arcade, the young poodle said, making sure everyone in the hall could hear.

Just one game! he corrected her.

Hey, everyone! Markaius just bought a whole arcade and he’s keeping it all to himself because he’s mean! she hollered throughout the hall.

I only bought the freakin’ game at Highwood! he yelled after her.

Oi! Dude! called someone behind him. ’Eard yer bought th’ game from th’ grocery store! Totally tubular, dude!

Markaius turned with a smile of relief—the surfer slang (picked up from an old cartoon) muddied by a full-bore Northern English accent could only belong to his best friend Russ Gruffy, a big mountain of badger galoot who was making the shaka sign.

Yeah, Mr. Ottey was going to throw it out. I freaked when I went to the game and found just a pop fridge there.

Bro, I know! We ’eard yer on th’ other side o’ th’ store! Musta been a total bummer!

Ugh! Anna groaned as she dramatically rolled her eyes as hard as she could. Will you drop your surfer crap? It makes you sound so stupid!

Anna, dudette! Sorry, didn’t notice yer were there! Totally bogus o’ me! Howzit? Russ said, grinning.

Anna’s hackles were up at once. Don’t. Call. Me. Dudette! How many times do I have to tell you that!?

Like me uncle says, yer don’t need t’ repeat yerself, dudette. I ignored yer th’ first time!

GAAAAH! snarled Anna before storming away.

The warning bell for class rang and Russ jerked his head towards the far end of the hall. I gotta book. ’Ang loose, bro! See yer at lunch?

Yeah, at lunch! called back Markaius before heading to class.

In class, he did his best to ignore Anna and just focus on his schoolwork. It wasn’t easy; Anna reïterated her claim to both their Social Studies and Science teachers, and Markaius was getting increasingly irritated every time he had to set the record straight.

In Math, the class he had just before lunch, Mr. Colchester finally shut Anna up. Anna, I was there, it was only a single game that nobody played. If you’d put as much effort into your schoolwork as you do spreading rumours, you might actually bring home a report card your parents could stomach. The rest of the class roared with laughter while Anna scowled in humiliation.

Markaius clenched his jaw tight, determined not to join in on the merriment lest he incur her wrath, but he was unable to keep a straight face.

At lunchtime he and Jaykan sat down with Russ Gruffy. So, ’ave yer played th’ game at ’ome yet? the badger asked.

He played it so much Dad had to unplug the game and tell him to go to bed, giggled Jaykan. It was, like, one in the morning.

Ah, yer must ’ave been stoked t’ play it.

Markaius smiled sheepishly and nodded. Oh, I was so excited because finally Mom couldn’t drag me away from it anymore. I actually made it to the boss of Level Five on the first night, but I couldn’t get past him. I guess I kept everyone else up, because, yeah, Dad came to unplug it.

Russ laughed. I don’ blame yer! ’Cause yer mum would sometimes drag yer away by yer ear!

How’s it going with you? asked Markaius. I heard your grandpa was trying to teach you electronics?

Tryin’ ter, but I’m a total kook at it. I try and I try, but I can’t get me ’ead around it! An’ it’s a total bummer, because ’e’s wonderin’ ’oo’s goin’ t’ take over once’ ’e’s gone if not me. But bro... he shrugged helplessly. I just can’t

The three continued chatting as they enjoyed their lunches, then had to split when the bell rang. At least in English class, Markaius didn’t have to put up with Anna’s claim, as she was still fuming from Mr. Colchester’s rebuke, and she wasn’t in his gym class.

After school he and Jaykan went to the lunch room to wait for their mother and sister. As their mother always had things to do after work and Anja was in band, the two usually had quite some time to get some homework done. Jaykan studied his spelling while Markaius did some math homework. His ear twitched backwards as he heard someone come up behind him.

I bet you think you’re so cool, said Anna, sitting down opposite Markaius.

Markaius didn’t answer. He glanced up at the math book—which he’d stood up for easier reading—and did the next question.

³/₄ × ___ = ¹/₆

Hello!

Markaius’s only response was a shrug.

Anna sat across from him and yanked his book down. Hey! I’m talking to you!

And me and Jaykan are trying to do homework, he said, putting his book back up.

You realize you’re not cool just because you have an arcade game! she said.

Markaus set to his question silently.

• ³/₄ × ___ = ¹/₆
• ^3×6/_4×1 × ___ = ^1×6/_6×1
• ¹⁸/₄ ×——

She yanked his book down again. HEY! Are you listening to me?!

Nope. He firmly set his book back up. Don’t know what your problem is, don’t care. Gonna go home, have dinner, play my game, and go to bed. Now get lost. We got homework to do.

• ¹⁸/₄ × ___ = ⁶/₆
• ⁹/₂ × ___ = 1
• ⁹/₂ × ²/₉ = 1
• ^9×2/_2×9 = 1
• ¹⁸/₁₈ = 1
• 1 = 1
• ³/₄ × ²/₉ = ¹/₆
• ^3×2/_4×9 = ¹/₆
• ⁶/₃₆ = ¹/₆
• ¹/₆ = ¹/₆

Before he could go to the last question, he heard a tap on the window. He sighed as he saw it was his mom. He packed his books up with a grumble. Thanks a lot. Usually I can finish my math homework before she gets here.

I just wanted you to know that just because you have an arcade game, that doesn’t make you cool! It makes you totally lame!

Yap yap yap, arf arf arf, woof woof woof, he shot back as he shoved his books back into his bag and hoisted it onto his shoulder.

Yeah, yap yap yap, arf arf arf, woof woof woof, repeated Jaykan as the two left.

What was going on in there? asked Mom.

Just Anna being a pain. She’s been telling everyone I bought a whole arcade. I hope nobody believes her, because I kept saying it was just one game. He sighed. Dunno what her problem is. She was telling me I wasn’t cool for having an arcade game.

Why did you want to buy it? she asked.

He was quiet, wondering if he should tell her about the badges or beating Cousin Kraggan. Finally he said, I’ve always wanted to ace it. Just... I really liked the game, is all.

Speaking of which, I got a call from your dad. Mr. Gruffy will be over for dinner, then he’ll see to your game. Oh, and Russ is coming, too; I know you two get along.

Oh, cool!

Mr. Bruce Gruffy—Russ’s grandfather—was an aging badger with an accent even thicker than his grandson’s. I thought that Durnot threw that thing away, he said as they ate.

He sold it to Markaius at the last minute, said Dad. Said it saved him a bunch of money at the dump.

’E’s not wrong. So what’ wrong wi’ ’it?

One of the buttons is broken, said Markaius.

Not surprised. That game sat in th’ store for longer than yer’ve been alive. I ’ave no idea where Durnot bought it either. Pass th’ salt, please.

Did you know Markaius was playing it at one in the morning? asked Anja. Dad had to unplug it and tell him to go to bed.

Markaius mumbled in embarrassment and Mr. Gruffy chuckled.

Be careful not t’ let that game take over yer life said Mr. Gruffy. I’ve seen blokes ’oo’ve got caught up in gamin’. An’ not just gamblin’ either. Yer be careful.

After dinner, Markaius took Mr. Gruffy to his room to show him the problematic button.

Mr. Gruffy unplugged the game and put a plug lockout over the plug. It’s not that I think yer stupid enough t’ plug it back in while I’m workin’ on it. It’s just that I made it an ’abit long ago, and I plan t’ keep it that way, he said. He took the side off the cabinet, and shone a flashlight in there. Ah. Loose connection, he said.

Markaius leaned forward. Can I see?

The old badger shifted a bit, then said Come ’ere. Markaius lay down beside him, and the Badger pointed his flashlight at a wire. Barely ’angin’ on there. Once Markaius was out of the way, Mr. Gruffy disconnected the wire, clipped off the old connector, used a tool to strip some insulation from the wire, added a new connector, and reattached the wire so it was firmly in place. There. Should work now. He closed up the cabinet and removed the lockout box, and plugged the cabinet in. A quick playtest showed the button worked once again, and Mr. Gruffy nodded in satisfaction. Well, that’s done, he said. They went outside to talk to Markaius’s parents to settle the bill.

Markaius brought out his money box and offered Mr. Gruffy the money within. The badger looked at him with mild pity. Sorry, pup, this ain’t near enough.

Dad paid the bill instead. Thanks for dropping by, Mr. Gruffy.

No problem, said Mr. Gruffy.

Russ looked at the cabinet with a sigh. Wish I’d played this instead of starin’ at it like some ’odad on th’ beach watchin’ surfers.

You want to play it? You’ll have to wrestle me for it! teased Markaius, knowing Russ was far stronger than he was.

Take it into the back yard! ordered Dad.

The two boys headed out to the back yard, where Russ quickly rolled Markaius into a ball and pinned him. Okay, okay, you can play! yelled Markaius.

Russ released Markaius, and the laughing pair headed back into the house where Markaius handed Russ a quarter. Russ struggled with the game. I’m a bloody kook at this! groaned the badger as he fell victim to the various enemy ships, never even reaching the first boss.

Don’t feel bad. I’ve been playing this longer than you’ve been surfing.

Russ was ready to give it another go, but Mr. Gruffy said it was time to go.

Let me know when you wanna play it, Russ. I’ll be glad to let you have a round.

Maybe. Just wanted t’ try it once, that’s all. The two boys bumped fists, and Russ headed out with his grandfather.

Learning The Game Within And Without

A week passed, and Markaius was getting really frustrated with the game. The Dorogrim Entity—the boss of The Dorogrim Anomaly—was still tying his tail in a knot. The little black holes that made navigating the level a massive pain ensured the boss sheer hell as they deflected his shots away from the boss while directing the boss’s shots straight toward him, and he was getting frustrated with the game. He’d even resorted to searching for any information online, but all he found were people reminiscing about the old cabinet and a reference to a ROM that was notoriously buggy when you got to the later levels.

To add to his frustrations, Anna’s rumour was all over school. Several schoolmates were asking if they could come to his arcade and asking if he had various driving or fighting games, despite his many protests that he only had Star Jam Fighters.

That night, trying again to beat The Dorogrim Entity, he angrily slammed the butt of the light gun into the board of the game. As he looked down, he froze as he saw one of the buttons cracked right through. Starting up the game again confirmed his worst fear: the button was broken.

He didn’t dare tell his father—not so soon after the cabinet had just been fixed and certainly not over a tantrum. He unplugged the game and, following Mr. Gruffy’s example, put a sock over the plug and taped it tight. Then, he took off the back of the cabinet. He was about to take the button out, then decided to make sure to label the wires going to it. Once that was done, he carefully extracted the button. When he took it apart, he discovered that just as he feared, the plastic of the button was broken. He carefully put the parts in a small bag, put it and his cash box in his bike’s basket, and biked to Mr. Gruffy’s shop, praying he could convince the badger not to tell his parents. He entered Willow Clearing Computers & Electronics and took a deep breath as Mr. Gruffy came to the front desk.

Oh, ’ello, pup. ’Ow can I ’elp yer? asked Mr. Gruffy as Russ came over to see what was going on.

I need another button fixed, said the young dog, putting his cash box and the small bag on the desk.

Mr. Gruffy opened the bag and saw the broken plastic piece. Can’t yer ask for some ’elp from yer parents?

Mark’s ears went flat and his tail went between his legs as he looked at the floor.

Mr. Gruffy chuckled; he knew a kid with something to hide when he saw one. ’Ere, let me get owt. He headed into the back, then returned with a small tube of glue. I’ll sell yer this. Just glue it back together, let it sit a spell—should say on th’ back ’ow long—then put th’ button back together, and away yer go. Also, since yer own th’ game now... he handed a booklet and a piece of paper over. This is th’ owner’s manual. I ’ad it because I was th’ one t’ fix th’ cabinet whenver it broke down. On th’ paper is th’ title of a book yer might want t’ read. All th’ best, Mark’us.

Markaius took the supplies and headed for the library next—though he needed to stop at the corner store for a drink; it had been a long trip to the computer shop already, and the library was almost on the other side of town. Once there, he showed the librarian the note that Mr. Gruffy had written down. She smiled and took him to the shelves which held all manner of books on electronics. You are in luck; that book was returned just this morning, she said cheerfully.

Now that he had the glue, the button, the manual, and the book, Markaius headed home and went to work. He carefully put the glue onto both pieces, and pressed them together. He even held them in place a few extra seconds just to be sure. Tomorrow, he would complete the repairs.

The next night, Markaius tried not to look at his dad, who kept glancing at him suspiciously. He also firmly ignored his little brother Jakan’s I know you’re in trouble smirk. After dinner, he went to his room and looked at the parts. He steeled himself and carefully put the button back together. Using an old flashlight and some metal paperclips to connect the wire to the flashlight circuitry, he tested the button. To his immense relief, it actually worked.

After a few deep breaths, he started on the riskiest, toughest part of the repair: Installing the new button. He nearly dropped the new button when sliding it into place, and did drop the nut twice. His trembling paws lost hold of one of the wires at least three times before he managed to get it reconnected. Once he had both wires reattached, he stared at it nervously. It had been way too easy, he knew he’d done something wrong somewhere. But checking the book and manual over, he couldn’t think of anything he’d done wrong. He carefully put the cabinet back together, removed the sock, and started up the game to confirm that he’d screwed up, maybe he’d find out how.

The button worked just fine.

He’d done it; it had really been that easy. He’d worked himself up so badly that he failed on the first level, but that wasn’t important at all.

He’d fixed the cabinet himself.

Well done.

Markaius almost left his pawpads behind when he heard his dad’s voice from the doorway. He turned, holding his chest and gasping; by some miracle, his head hadn’t left a dent on the ceiling.

Hopefully, this will teach you not to lose your temper in the future, Dad said, giving Markaius a meaningful look.

Mark’s ears went flat again. Yes, dad.

Also, if you need to ever need to repair the cabinet again, just ask me for the plug lockout. I’d much rather you use that than a mere sock.

Since his one chance to play the game that evening had been spent, Markaius read over the manual in hopes that it held clues to defeating The Dorogrim Entity. While he found no such advice, the manual did have instructions on how to go into test mode (he apparently needed something called a dongle), how to set the game to free play, and—most wonderfully—a code to enter when the game was booting up to go to the level select screen! Markaius looked at the instructions with amazement, then went to grab a piece of paper to write the instructions. This meant he could go to any stage he pleased, and he wouldn’t have to play the previous levels! He could even see what the game had for side quests and maybe how to get to them! He no longer had to fumble for quarters! He taped the paper to the cabinet, grinning broadly. Tomorrow, he’d try the code out. It would go a long way to finally earning those badges.

After school the next day, Markaius went by Mr. Gruffy’s shop.

How’d it go? asked Mr. Gruffy.

A lot easier than I thought it would, said Markaius. I came to return the manual.

Yer can keep that, Mark. Yer’ve got th’ only cabinet I know of, so I don’t need it no more. Also, I’ve got owt f’ yer. He handed a small device over. This is a dongle that will let yer test th’ controls. A dongle is owt yer plug int’ a computer or somethin’ if yer need it t’ do somethin’ it’s not designed t’ do. This will let yer test the controls if yer plug it in. It’s th’ only one I’ve got so don’t lose it! An’ be careful t’ follow the instructions in th’ manual. Yer a smart lad, so please read th’ manual before yer start anythin’, alright?

Markais was stunned a moment. Thank’s, sir!

Yer welcome. ’Ave yer read all of that book I suggested, or just ’ow to fix th’ button?

Just the part to fix the button, Mark admitted.

Yer might find the rest of th’ book interestin’, said Mr. Gruffy. There’s a lot to learn from it.

That night, Markaius decided to read the manual from the beginning. Bolstered by his success repairing the button, he began to feel that maybe he could do... well, not everything the book had talked about, but at least some of it. Suddenly he looked up at the clock and realized it was getting close to bedtime. Maybe he could get in a game. He opened the front of the cabinet and set the switches to Free Play. Then he plugged the cabinet in, and entered the code specified in the manual—and there it was. The Level Select Screen, complete with sidequests!

Level Select

1	The Port Invasion	Boarding Action
2	Red Star Gauntlet	Captain Malevolas
3	The Living Asteroids	The Albino Asteroid
4	Black Hole Accretion Disc	Michellaplace Station
5	The Infected Nebula	Naraashun’s Challenge
6	The Dorogrim Anomaly	The Meteor Swarm
7	Black Flame Fleet	Black Flame Mothership Bay
8	The Border Patrol	Commander BlackWahl
9	Ships Of The Wall	Battle Of The Gunners
10	Part 1: The Black Void Tyrant’s Battleship	Part 2: The Gauntlet
	Part 3: General Dahrkxyyd	Part 4: Showdown With The Tyrant

Well, at least he knew now that he was over half-way through the game. He selected Level 7, but again fell to The Dorogrim Entity. Sighing, he unplugged the machine, and flipped through the manual again, but could find no clue how to beat him.

The next day, the cabinet once again proved itself the greatest adversary of all: the joystick crapped out.

StarJamKid

Mr. Gruffy didn’t have a joystick, so Markaius had to go on the internet to find what he needed. As he searched for arcade parts, he came across a forum called The Arcade Game Builder Forums. It even had a forum for buying parts. He eagerly signed up for it, deciding on the monicker StarJamKid in honour of his game. Considering some of the Terms of Service were in bold, he decided to read them all. He smiled a bit at the clause that asked posters to check their posts for grammar and spelling before posting (well, this forum would be easier to read than some he was on). Once his account was confirmed and fully set up, he posted in the Introductions subforum.

StarJamKid Here!

StarJamKid

Hey, everyone! I'm StarJamKid. I'm trying to keep a real old arcade game working cause everything is breaking. Would like help find parts and ways to beat game.

Between looking online for arcade parts (most of which were horribly expensive), he kept refreshing the forum. He grinned as he saw a new reply.

StarJamKid Here!

Lord_Danloc

Good to have you on board, StarJamKid. Your name reminds me of a game I played many, many years ago. What kind of parts are you looking for? Are you looking for parts to restore the cabinet to its original glory or do you just want to finish the game? If it's the former, you have to ask whether you'll get your money's worth. In the latter, you have a lot more options for parts.

StarJamKid Here!

StarJamKid

I just want to fix it so I can get 100% on the game.

StarJamKid Here!

Lord_Danloc

Then, like I said, you have a lot more options, because you simply want the cabinet working. Have a look down in our Parts: Sale And Seeking forum, and all the best.

In the Parts: Sale And Seeking forum, he scrolled through various posts before finding one that looked promising: a user by the name of Moolah_Hunter had a joystick for sale.

Blackstone Manor Skullhead Joystick For Sale

Moolah_Hunter

New old stock joystick with skull head for Blackstone Manor Cabinet. $150 firm.

That price seemed kind of high, and Markaius wouldn’t have replied at all to the thread—except for a term that he didn’t understand.

Blackstone Manor Skullhead Joystick For Sale

StarJamKid

What does "new old stock" mean?

About 30 minutes (and two music videos) later, he checked on the thread to see if there was a reply. There was, along with a private message.

Blackstone Manor Skullhead Joystick For Sale

Moolah_Hunter

Serious inquiries only, please.

If you don't know, shut up.

Moolah_Hunter

Don't waste my time with stupid questions. I have reported your post to the moderators, and I hope the ban teaches you a lesson.

Markaius logged out with a lump in his throat. So much for a forum being a good idea; less than an hour and he was already about to be banned.

At suppertime, he only picked at his meal, which his parents quickly picked up on.

Something wrong, son? asked his dad.

Markaius just sat there and shook his head, forcing himself to eat. After dinner, he went out for a bike ride, sighing.

He hadn’t realized how far he’d ridden until he found himself near Willow Clearing Computers & Electronics. He was surprised to see a light on and the open sign still on at this hour, so he tried the door and found it unlocked. The door chimes jingled as he entered. Maybe Mr. Gruffy would tell him.

’Ey! I’m closed. Didn’t yer see the open sign is off? called Mr. Gruffy from within.

It was still on, Mr. Gruffy, said Markaius.

There was a moment’s silence. Oh. Then pull th’ chain on it t’ shut it off. Did yer need owt? He sounded annoyed.

I just... wanted to ask a question.

Can it wait? I’m up to me bloomin’ ears in a project.

Can I help at all?

There was another silence. Actually, yes. Come back ’ere.

Markaius went into the back, and saw electronic pieces scattered across a workbench. Yer can get me a bloody screwdriver. ’Ead looks like a blinkin’ X

Markaius hadn’t heard such language from Mr. Gruffy before, so he simply went to get one. He saw one that looked like a plus sign, but if he turned it a little, it did look like an X. He brought it over. Thank yer said Mr. Gruffy as he went to work, growling out things that would earn Markaius a mouthful of soap if he said them at home. I need solder said the badger.

Markaius went, but saw two rolls. Um... skinny stuff or fat stuff? he asked.

Aaah, what the blinkin’ bloody blazes are yer yammerin’ abo— Mr. Gruffy turned around with a growl, then saw the two rolls Markaius was holding. Oh. Skinny. Markaius put the other one back and brought it over. As Mr. Gruffy continued fixing, he continued calling out for more and more parts, in particular capacitors. He’d even say the specs, and Markaius did his best to comply, although a few times he got it wrong, earning an irritated growl and a testy correction from the badger. Markaius didn’t dare complain. But finally, Mr. Gruffy started putting pieces back together and bolting them into place. Finally, a very old refurbished computer sat on Mr. Gruffy’s desk. Bloody ’ell! he growled. Every bloomin’ capacitor ready t’ burst! I tol’ Rijk ’e needed t’ replace ’is bloomin’ computer, but ’e insists ’e can’t because only this relic will work wi’ ’is blasted stone-age inventory program! I’ve tol’ ’im ’e can get way better, but bloody Dutchman: Wooden shoes, wooden ’ead, wouldn’ listen! He looked up at Markaius as he relaxed with a sigh. Thank yer! Yer were a big ’elp, really. So, what did yer want t’ ask?

It’s kind of a stupid question... said Markaius.

Well, ask away, an’ I’ll try not t’ laugh.

What’s new old stock?

Mr. Gruffy blinked. ’Oo told yer that was a stupid question? That’s not stupid at all! What it is, is when yer’ve got some items that ’ave sat in a ware’ouse a long time an’ never got sold. Often, it’s owt nobody makes anymore. In fact... Come int’ storage.

As the two went towards the store room, Markaius looked at the various electronic devices in Mr. Gruffy’s shop, some in various stages of disassembly, some seemingly ready to be sold. Finally, they entered the store room. Mr. Gruffy chose three boxes that looked old and immaculate at the same time and set them on a shelf where Markaius could easily see them.

This one is a nixie tube. It’s got a bunch of filaments in th’ shape o’ numbers, and it’ll light one o’ them. Used for ol’ numerical displays. This ’ere is a dekatron, basically a counter. An’ this is a vacuum tube, yer see ’em in a lot of old electronics. Even in some newer ones, too, fer various reasons. They must have sat in a warehouse fer over fifty years. I order ’em in because Lansden Metals an’ th’ gas plant an’ a couple power stations all use ’em, an’ they all got reasons they can’t replace ’em. He set them back in their containers. The company that made those is long out o’ business, but they made ’em by th’ thousands while they were still around, and there’s ’undreds still sittin’ in ware’ouses, original packagin’ an’ all waitin’ t’ be sold. That’s new old stock. Plain an’ simple.

Markaius breathed a sigh of relief at the straight answer. Thank you, Mr. Gruffy.

Any time, pup. An’ thanks fer yer ’elp.

Where’s Russ?

The older badger shrugged. Surfin’ down at th’ river. ’E’s not sure ’s can learn th’ trade an’... well, I’ve ’ad to accept that ’e might not ’ave th’ ’ead for it. He sighed. Yer might want t’ get ’home, b’fore yer parents start lookin’ f’r yer.

Markaius pedaled back home, feeling better. When he got back home, he checked his email to see how long he’d be banned for—only to see the only emails from that forum were notifications of private messages. When he entered his username and password into the forum login screen, he discovered he hadn’t been banned (at least not yet) and that he had a few private messages from various members of the forum defining new old stock or giving him links to sites that explained the concept.

Answer to your question.

Sk8man_J

New old stock is stuff that's not made anymore but hasn't been sold yet. Oh, and don't talk to Moolah_Hunter, he's a jerk.

Answer, and ignore the butthats.

Gaias_Gamyr

New old stock: Stock that's not manufactured anymore, but hasn't been sold yet.

Also, don't let Moolah_Hunter get under your skin. As his (its?) name suggests, all he cares about is money. I don't think he's ever played a video game in his life.

Heya, Pupster!

Lord_Danloc

Hey, StarJamKid. New Old Stock is unsold stock that's been in a warehouse for ages. Also, if you need a term defined, the General Arcade Talk forum is the place to ask. :-)

PS: I recognized your e-mail, Markaius. Tell Uncle Lawry and Aunt Doris Kraggan says hi, willya Pupster? :-)

Markaius blinked—Lord Danloc was his big cousin Kraggan! Maybe this forum wouldn’t be so bad after all. He quickly typed back.

Re: Heya, Pupster!

StarJamKid

Hey, Cousin Kraggan! I'll do that! Yeah, I just got a Star Jam Fighters game---from what I've read, its called a cabinet? It's the one that sat in the grocery store forever. Do you have any pointers on beating The Dorogrim Entity? Or finding any of the side quests? And I was looking for a joystick.

And I was worried I'd get banned for asking that question.

Re: Heya, Pupster!

Lord_Danloc

I had no idea there were any cabinets left; I found evidence of maybe a dozen sold ever? If that. And it's been a long time since I played it, and all I did was beat the main game. Sorry, Pupster, can't help you. Maybe take what worked on other bosses, or don't attack until you see the boss's pattern.

Or you could do something totally stupid for a laugh and see if that works! :-D

I do recall Star Jam Fighters was the worst kind of flop. If you get 100% on the game, you'll pretty much be the only one to ever do it.

SkaVenJerSam might be your best bet for a cheap price, but just post in Parts: Sale And Seeking, and hopefully someone will have something to offer.

Best of luck!

P.S. No, you won't get banned for asking a simple question. Don't worry. :-)

He then went to Parts: Sale And Seeking and posted his request.

StarJamKid Seeks Joystick!

StarJamKid

I'm looking for a joystick for a Star Jam Fighters cabinet by Characo Games. I've got a picture of the original joystick here.

As his post included a picture, it required a moderator to clear it, and Lord_Danlock did so within a few minutes. About 10 minutes after that, he got a reply.

StarJamKid Seeks Joystick!

SkaVenJerSam

You are in luck! That type is pretty generic, so getting a replacement should be easy. I have a couple examples here I took out of scrapped cabinets. I did test them, so these DO work. I can send you one for 5 bucks + shipping.

Just remember I took them out of scrapped cabinets. My signature reads You get what you pay for for a reason. ;-)

Markaius went to accept—then paused. He didn’t have a credit card. Which meant he’d have to ask his mom or dad. Finally he made a decision, and went downstairs to his parents. Dad? Can I ask a favour?

It’s May I ask a favour, Mom reminded her son.

His ears drooped slightly, then said, Well, it’s really big so... July I ask a favour? Or even Christmas I ask a favour?

His mother gave the tip of his ear a light pinch, sighing.

What’s the favour? asked Dad.

I want to buy a joystick from someone I met online, and I was wondering if you could help me. I’ll pay you back!

We’ll make it simple: This comes out of your allowance. And I will be the one going through the buying process. Deal?

Deal.

Dad wanted to make sure this wasn’t some scam, so he went to the computer with his son to make sure. Upon the revelation that Lord Danloc was in fact his nephew Kraggan, Dad called him and put him on speakerphone.

Hello? came Kraggan’s voice.

Hey, Kraggan. It’s your uncle Lawry.

Hey, Uncle Lawry! What’s up?

My son plans to purchase an item off something called The Arcade Game Builder Forums. I’m looking at the thread right now, titled StarJamKid Seeks Joystick, in a forum called Parts: Sale And Seeking. And a joystick for five dollars seems too good to be true.

Oh, yeah. I’m a moderator there. If you see a post by Lord Danloc, that’s me. Okaaaaaayyyy... yeah, here’s the thread. Oh! Oh, good, SkaVenJerSam answered it. She’s a hyena and she plays up her scavenger heritage by going through dumps and running an electronics recycling depot, and taking the stuff there apart for anything she thinks might work. She sells the parts that are still good for really cheap, or she’ll build something out of those parts and sell that for cheap. She’s probably got a hundred joysticks she’s pulled out of dumped arcade cabinets that she’s had for decades. If you just want something at rock bottom prices, she’s the one to go to.

And what about the longevity of her wares? asked Dad.

Her signature reads You get what you pay for for a reason. She won’t sell you something she knows won’t work or is on the point of failure, but she won’t make any guarentees that what she sells will still work next month. For a lot of people, that’s fine.

Dad turned to Markaius. Well, it’s my credit card, and it’s not fine with me. You’re not buying something that might break next month. You will tell her so, and you will find a better source. Kraggan, thanks for talking with me.

Hey, no problem. If you have any questions, just let me know, okay?

Will do. Goodbye, Kraggan.

G’by, Little Uncle.

While they said their goodbyes, Markaius was typing in his reply.

StarJamKid Seeks Joystick!

StarJamKid

Sorry, but Dad said I have to look for a source for better parts. Since I have to use his credit card, I have to do as he says.

A little while later, he saw the reply.

StarJamKid Seeks Joystick!

SkaVenJerSam

Hey, StarJamKid! I totally understand. If you look in the pinned threads, one is a listing of new old stock sources, one is a listing of manufacturers that still make arcade cabinet parts. All the best!

Markaius called his dad in once again. Dad looked at the links and clicked on a few, nodding in approval. ’Scuse me, he said. Markaius let his dad sit in his computer chair, and Dad decided on the source he deemed most reliable, and bought a joystick from there. Then he turned to Markaius. Until you’re old enough to have a card of your own, this is how it’s going to be. You can ask for what you want, but I decide where to buy it. I don’t want you getting ripped off. Do you understand?

I understand.

While Markaius waited for his joystick to arrive, he once again studied Repairfur’s Complete Arcade Guide to see how to replace a joystick. After two weeks of worried waitingm lots of floor-pacing, and getting his tail handed to him on his weekend gaming sessions with Kraggan, the package finally arrived. Markaius once again went to work on his cabinet (this time using his dad’s plug lockout instead of a mere sock). He found the steps in the book fairly easy to follow and was surprised how little time it took to finish the job. Grinning broadly, he put the cabinet back together, removed the plug lockout, and restarted the game.

Enter The Fray!

He grinned, starting from the beginning, whizzing his way through the first four levels—but in Black Hole Accretion Disc, he got lost. Growling, he sought a way out and stumbled upon a space station in the disc. The screen went blank for a moment, then a text screen began.

Michellaplace Observatory

In the black hole accretion disc, you’ve come across Michellaplace Observatory, where scientists study the black hole. Unfortunately, they’ve been boarded by space pirates who want to use this as their base.

The head scientist begs you to try to clear out the pirates.

Markaius looked at the game in confusion as the sidequest began. He thought he’d been playing a space shooter, not a side-scrolling Run-And-Gun. He silently thanked Kraggan for letting him play his vast collection of old computer and emulated arcade games, since many of them were of this genre.

It took him some time to adjust to the the sudden genre shift. He blasted his way through an army of mooks and goons, managed not to shoot too many of the scientists running around, and defeated the miniboss with but a sliver of a health bar left.

The pirates are driven off the station and forced to flee back to their ship! Well done, you have saved the scientists on the station!

In gratitude, they upload a map of the accretion disc for you to follow.

Take a photo of the To The Rescue! badge screen when you complete the game!

After the brief cut scene, Markaius saw the outline of a map overlayed on the screen, showing where he was and which path he needed to take through the obstacles of the accretion disc. Unfortunately, he couldn’t get used to how the map moved with his ship and he found himself caught by the black hole. As the great black void filled the screen and his spacecraft spiralled to its doom, he sighed in dismay, but at least he’d pulled off what Kraggan had not: beaten a sidequest. Now all he had to figure out was how to reliably get there and back again.

And how to get to the other sidequests, too.

Through the summer and into the next school year, Markaius became a familiar sight at Willow Clearing Computers & Electronics. Every day he’d drop by after school and small odd jobs around the place like helping Russ with inventory or restocking shelves for which Mr. Gruffy would give him some small payment, or, when he wasn’t doing such things, watching Mr. Gruffy fix computers and other electronics, listening in on the lessons Mr. Gruffy tried to give Russ, or reading through Mr. Gruffy’s very extensive magazine collection. Then about suppertime, he’d go home, have supper, do homework, and have a game. He’d imposed upon himself the rule that he would not practice a side quest until he found its point of entry, and so far he’d found four others, along with the quickest wat to Michellaplace Observatory (or Station; the game seemed unsure which it was).

He found Boarding Action—another side-scrolling Run-And-Gun—in Port Invasion by deliberately going to the damaged bay doors that had ships swarming around it. He also found two one-on-one fighting games: Captain Malevolas, which was triggered by docking the large, indestructable ship in The Red Star Gauntlet; and Naraashun’s Challenge, which took place when he went through a vortext in The Infected Nebula. Well, now he knew why this game had two rows of buttons: top was for punches, bottom was for kicks. Lastly, landing on one of the flat spots of the white asteroid in The Living Asteroids brought him to The Albino Asteroid, which was a shooting game that required the light gun. While he failed miserably at this sidequest, at least the construction of the cabinet now made sense.

Speaking of the cabinet, it seemed determined to deny him his goal by disintegrating before his very eyes. One day, he started it up, and discovered that one of the speakers had suddenly decided to sound horrible. He removed the offending speaker and brought it to Mr. Gruffy’s shop along with the manual (just in case it was important). Mr. Gruffy was happy to show him how to read the various specifications on the manual and choose the correct speaker for the cabinet.

Two days later, he returned to purchase a replacement for the other speaker.

Two weeks later, he’d come to his dad, cash in paw. Dad... would you please use your credit card for me again? I need to buy two red arcade buttons. I’ve checked them both, and they work only some of the time.

Dad gently took the bills from the youngster’s paw and held them up. You know, this makes me proud of you. This right here tells me that you understand that your mother and I aren’t able to pull money out of thin air, and that you understand that your personal projects and hobbies will cost you. Because you’ve demonstrated you understand all this, let’s buy some arcade game buttons.

Dad and Markaius went onto the same site they’d bought the joystick from. Markaius showed the microswitch buttons he needed, but Dad then pointed out they could get the microswitches themselves for less. Markaius realized his dad was right—all he really needed was the switches. Once the purchase had been made, his dad counted through the bills and handed back the change with a smile.

While he awaited the switches to arrive, he decided to use the level select screen to practice The Albino Asteroid. Again, he failed over and over. He checked the manual for any clue what would be going on, and finally used the Control Testing dongle to check it out. After only a few of the shots registered, he slumped his shoulders. Even the light gun wasn’t working properly. It was time to sign out Repairfur’s Complete Arcade Guide once again.

After a quick visit to the library, he asked his dad if he could use his dad’s toolkit with the little screwdrivers and the plug lockout. His dad, curious, got the items, then watched as his son took apart the light gun. When Markaius had trouble keeping the book open, Dad pressed down on it to keep it to the right page. That little sensor looks kinda crooked, don’t you think? asked the older dog.

Markaius looked at it, looked at the diagram in the book, and nodded. He carefully moved it back into place, put the gun back together, then went back to the test screen. This time, the light gun worked flawlessly.

Dad clapped Markaius on the shoulder. Well done, son! he said. I think you have time for a game.

Markaius again selected The Albino Asteroid to try his luck once more.

The Albino Asteroid

You have landed on the face of the Minorgh Plaanetoyd’s malevolent guardian, The Albino Asteroid. It has ensnared many astronauts here for its own dark amusement. Defeat its minions, save the astronauts, and end this vile being’s reign of terror!

It had, indeed, been the gun that was holding him back. While he didn’t land every shot, he managed to complete the level and destroy the massive rock monster that rose out of The Albino Asteroid’s surface and served as its miniboss.

The avatar of the Albino Asteroid crumbles, and the ground begins to crack. The astronauts you saved flee to their ships, and start blasting off. You make it to your ship in the nick of time and take off as the evil living rock crumbles to dust below you.

When the cut scene ended, he was back in The Living Asteroids, and the white asteroid that had plagued him throughout the level disintigrated into a cloud of pixels, making the level much easier—especially the boss, which was now bereft of its annoying shield.

The day after this victory, his switches finally arrived, and Markaius was once again in the increasingly-familiar interior of his cabinet.

As he worked, he could hear his mother out in the hall, talking to his father. Lawry, I’m worried. That machine is becoming an absolute money pit!

Nothing he’s bought thus far has been that expensive, and hobbies cost money. It’s their nature.

It’s taking over his life! He practically lives at the computer shop these days. He only stays long enough to watch Jaykan until we arrive, then off he goes!

I’d rather him be there than a lot of other places I could name. And besides, if that was taking over his life, his marks would have tanked. Last I looked, they were better than they’ve ever been!

True... his mom sighed. Just... worried about where his obsession will lead.

Markaius flattened his ears as his parents talked. Why couldn’t Mom understand how important it was he get the badges? That he finally impress Kraggan? And besides, that game had given him a refuge from another problem: Russ was pulling away from him.

It had started small—less banter between classes, less talk at lunchtime. The previous week, Russ had barely said hi to Markaius and even sat by himself at lunch, refusing to go near Markaius. No matter how much Markaius tried to talk to him, Russ wanted nothing to do with him, and the young dog didn’t know why.

And then came the worst day of his life.

A Line On The Screen, A Threshold In Life

It had been a rough day at school.

At the start of the day, Markaius confronted Russ to find out what was wrong, but Russ took a swing at him instead. Markaius was so upset that he didn’t even eat lunch in the lunchroom, but just sat on a bench outside, just staring at his sandwich with no appetite. That afternoon he had a test but couldn’t answer a single question. All he wanted was to unwind by playing his game. He plugged it in and stood up to watch its bootup sequence.

A thin bright line from one side of the screen to the other was all that showed on the otherwise black screen.

He frantically unplugged the game then plugged it back in again, only to see the same horrible line. The sounds of the game’s attract mode played loud and clear, but all he saw was that one white line. He unplugged the game and sat down on his bed, holding his head in his hands. This was big. It wasn’t just some failing part he could replace, or poke at. This was big. This was part of the game that he’d never touched. This was parts of the book that had gone over his head, articles of magazines he’d avoided, a whole section of the manual he’d simply flipped by because they were too complicated for him. There was no way he could afford to pay for the repairs, and if he asked his parents for help, they’d demand he get rid of the cabinet. He had to do this himself.

On Saturday, after his chores were done, he headed down to the library to check out Repairfur’s Complete Arcade Guide, Repairfur’s Complete TV Guide, and Introduction To Electronics, and began to study.

As he read, he got a text from Kraggan. Hey, Pupster! We gaming today?.

Markais looked at his phone, then texted back. Sorry, not up for getting clobbered today. Don't wanna talk about it.

Ah, sorry to hear that.

Is everything okay? It’s been over two weeks since you asked me for the plug lockout, Dad said, checking in on his son.

I... just have an essay to study for, that’s all.

Must be quite the essay. Dad sat down, looking at Markaius. I mean, you haven’t even spent time with Russ.

Markaius hung his head. We’ve... I dunno if we’re friends anymore, he said quietly.

Dad sighed. ... I see. Well, if you need help with your... essay, just ask. Okay?

Okay.

Over the next week, he made notes, copied diagrams, and even used his allowance to purchase tools from the local hardware store. He knew his parents were getting suspicious that something was up—especially how he never seemed to have time to game with Kraggan anymore or even hang out with Russ. But the more he read, the more uneasy he became. This wasn’t like tightening a screw, or replacing a switch. Finally, he went on the The Arcade Game Builder Forums and typed a post.

Need To Fix Screen

StarJamKid

I’m dealing with a screen that just has a thin line across it. Any advice on fixing it?

With that done, he headed out to Willow Clearing Computers to ask Mr. Gruffy for help with his essay—and, he hoped, find out what was eating Russ. He leaned his bike against the shop and went in.

’Ello, lad said Mr. Gruffy. ’Ow can I ’elp yer?.

I’m writing an essay on CRT repair, said Markaius, maintaining his little fiction. I was wondering if you could help me.

Be glad to! he said.

Is Russ here?

Doin’ some inventory, Mr. Gruffy said. Markaius showed him what he’d done so far, and Mr. Gruffy blinked. All this for a blinkin’ essay? Looks more like yer tryin’ t’ actually do it! Not somethin’ I recommend. Mr. Gruffy went over Markaius’s notes and diagrams, pointing out a few errors or omissions. Suddenly, Markaius heard a quiet growl behind him, and looked back to see Russ shoving a binder back into its slot.

Markaius decided now was the time. Hey, Russ, he said, coming over. I gotta know. You’ve been treating me like I’ve got mange, and I want to know what’s going on.

Russ kept his face turned away, refusing to answer Markaius.

Mr. Gruffy had had enough. Russno. Yer’ve been actin’ strange f’r weeks now. Yer say nowt’s wrong, but clearly there’s owt! What. Is. Wrong?

I’m fine, growled the young badger, staring out the window.

Bollocks.

Russ turned around, his cheeks damp as he looked at Mr. Gruffy. I can read th’ writin’ on th’ wall. I know I’m goin’ t’ be replaced by Mark’us. Like I was by me sister! His voice trembled as he sought the words. I’m sorry, Grandpa! he roared with despair. I tried me best, but I guess I was just too dev.. devel... stupid t’—

Oh, blimey! groaned Mr. Gruffy as he hurried over to Russ and gave him a tight hug. He then stepped back and held Russ’s shoulders and locked eyes with Russ. Even if yer give up bein’ me apprentice an’ never learn me trade, yer. Still. Me. Grandson! He held his gaze. I. Still. Love. Yer. As far as I’m concerned, like th’ Good Book says, yer th’ son of me old age! He hugged Russ again. I know yer tried. Just because yer don’t ’ave an ’ead f’r electronics don’t mean yer don’t ’ave an ’ead at all! He smiled, tears in his own eyes. Yer don’t ’ave t’ be ashamed of failin’, especially when yer gave it an honest go! The two embraced for a while. I love yer, and I always will, said Mr. Gruffy. Remember that.

Russ just held his grandfather close, trembling and breathing raggedly.

Markaius wasn’t sure how to feel; Russ was this big powerhouse that was the terror of the wrestling team, a big tough guy whom no other tough guys messed with—and here he was, practically disintigrating in his grandfather’s arms. When Russ finally let go, Markaius took a bit to find his voice. Russ... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you aside...

It’s all right... I knew Grandpa was gettin’ frustrated wi’ me. He sighed. I dunno what I’ll do now, though...

I’ll ’elp yer find a trade, promised Mr. Gruffy. He then looked at Markaius. Good luck on yer essay, he said pointedly.

Markaius nodded, gave Russ a hug and whispered, I’m sorry, and headed out. The Gruffys had some stuff to work out, and Markaius knew he’d just be in the way—a jake, as Russno would put it.

When Markaius got home, he decided to go to bed early. As he lay in bed, he heard his dad talking on the phone—from what he could hear, it was with Mr. Gruffy. He wondered if the two were comparing notes. Well, he’d worry about it in the morning.

The next morning, he got up and looked at his forum thread—it had a number of replies and he also had a private message.

Need To Fix Screen

SkaVenJerSam

Whoo, fursnarls. You probably have a CRT screen in your cabinet. My advice would be to replace the screen entirely with an LCD or LED screen. They draw less power than CRTs, and it's not hard to swap them. You only need to keep a CRT if there's a light gun involved, and fixing that is a job for experts, I'm afraid. Even I don't mess with them. Otherwise DEFINITELY switch to one of the other two.

By the way, since your new, here's some defs:

LCD Liquid Crystal Display

LED Light Emitting Diode

CRT Cathode Ray Tube. These are the old and heavy dinosaurs. FIDDLE WITH THEM AT YOUR OWN PERIL.

Need To Fix Screen

Lord_Danlock

I think the cabinet did have a light gun, though I don't recall using it. Honestly, StarJamKid, this is not something I recommend you do. Your posts suggest you're a total newbie, and this is NOT a job a newbie should be doing. If I were you, I'd call in an actual repair tech. Do NOT take CRTs lightly.

Need To Fix Screen

Sk8tman_J

What Lord_Danloc said. If you try to do it, let us know if you're alive once you're done.

Need To Fix Screen

Gaias_Gamyr

If you really have to dig into one, for heaven's sake, study, study, study, then start working. And please be careful I remember my Dad tried to fix a little travel CRT TV that had been unplugged for 7 years. It still shocked him, and he had to go to the hospital. It was awful. ;_;

Need To Fix Screen

Moolah_Hunter

Don't waste your time. I had a cabinet once, but none of the big collecters wanted it, so I had a guy make a ROM and emulator, and I threw the cabinet out. Just do likewise. ROM is only 80 bucks.

Markaius grumbled at that last one and checked out his private messages.

PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS!!!

Lord_Danloc

I'm PMing you because I don't want others to know I know you IRL. Markaius, this is WAAAAAY over your head. Ask Uncle Lawry for help, ask Mr. Gruffy for help, if I wasn't up to my eartips in work I would happily help, but just DON"T try this on your own. PLEASE.

First reason: So far you've been fixing basic controls. Replacing switches and all that. Not much to go wrong there. You mess with the electronics themselves, you could completely screw the cabinet up.

Second and most important reason: By now you'll have noticed that your screen glows even if the cabinet isn't plugged in. That's because there's a lot of charge built up in that screen, and IT WILL FRY YOU if you do something wrong. I love you, Pupster, and I don't want you to get hurt or worse, killed. I am NOT exaggerating.

Just ask for help, please.

And, hey, Pupster? I wish you'd tell me what's wrong.

Markaius took a deep breath. He knew Kraggan was an expert in these things, so he reluctantly decided to tell the truth. He left his room and went to his parents. Mom... Dad... I... I wasn’t actually studying for an essay. The game broke down big time.

I figured that was the case, said Dad. What’s wrong?

The screen’s broken. All I can see is a line going across it. Sound works and everything, just not the screen. And Cousin Kraggan told me to ask for help and not do this myself.

Dad took a deep breath. I would say Kraggan is right. You are absolutely not going to try and fix that. The risk is just far too high. I’m calling Mr. Gruffy. He picked up the phone and dialed. Hello, Mr. Gruffy, Lawry Alsaten here. I need you to come look at Markaius’s game; there’s a problem with the screen. Actually, yes, he was going to. He’s borrowed a few books from the library on how to do it and... Okay, see you soon. He hung up the phone. Mr. Gruffy’s on his way.

Why didn’t you tell us in the first place? asked Mom.

Because I knew you’d tell me to just chuck it because it was taking over my life and becoming a money pit!

Mom blinked. How did you overhear that? Were you— she paused, then sighed, hung her head and laid her ears back. That’s right, Lawry and I were right outside your door. You couldn’t help but hear us. She hugged her son. I’m sorry.

Markaius and Dad brought the cabinet into the garage in preperation for Mr. Gruffy’s arrival and even made sure to put the plug lockout on. When Mr. Gruffy and Russ arrived with Mr. Gruffy’s repair truck, Markaius shook hands with Mr. Gruffy, and gave Russ a hug which, to his relief, the badger returned.

Dad then stepped forwards. Russno? While they’re working on that, may I talk to you? Your grandfather suggested I show you the basics of carpentry.

Russ nodded, and he and Dad exited the garage.

While his dad talked with Russ, Markaius showed Mr. Gruffy the plug contained in its plug lockout held shut with a padlock and a note with the words WORKING ON THIS! attached.

Lockout/Tagout procedure, approved Mr. Gruffy. Very wise. Any forefur or supervisor wi’ ’arf a brain would give yer a thumbs-up. Always, always, always make sure what yer working on is unplugged and locked away so it can’t be plugged back in. I’ve seen it way too many times when someone knew th’ thing was unplugged, didn’t check, started workin’ on it, and got zapped. Even some who didn’t live t’ tell th’ tale. So what’s wrong wi’ it?

When I turn it on, all I get is a horizontal line across the screen. Sound and everything works fine, but I can’t see anything.

Ah. I think I know what’s goin’ on. Once the back was off, Mr. Gruffy looked Markaius in the eye. Yer were studyin’ ’ow t’ do this. So. What’s th’ first thing yer need t’ do before handling a CRT?

Discharge it?

Good! He brought out a tool that looked like a long wire, with a clip at one end and a gauge with a needle attached to the other and handed it to Markaius. Clip this t’ th’ metal ’ere, take this needle an’ poke it under that rubber seal.

Markaius did as he was told and saw the needle jump almost to the other side of the gauge. So now it’s discharged?

Poke it again an’ see.

Markaius did, and the needle jumped almost to the center of the gauge. ... Oh. He poked a few more times until the needle stayed still, and he looked up to see Mr. Gruffy nod in approval.

Now, yer’ve discharged the screen and yer can take that connection off. The other capacitors may still be ’oldin’ a charge, so ’andle wi’ caution, the old badger warned. Mr. Gruffy then guided Markaius through disconnecting and removing the screen. They placed the screen on the workbench and Mr. Gruffy used an air blower to blow the dust off.

Mr. Gruffy took over from there, but let Markaius watch and, after several questions, gave a running commentary on what he was doing: checking connections, capacitors, the yoke, and so on.

The problem turned out to be some failed capacitors. Since Markaius had helped him before, the young dog now knew how to look for specifications, and brought Mr. Gruffy what he needed. Can I try soldering it in? he asked.

Mr. Gruffy looked at him, then set out a jig, and put two spare wires from his toolkit nearby. Let’s see yer try solderin’ these two wires together before yer try it on a circuit board.

Markaius carefully added the flux—only to see most of it end up on the bench. He managed to get it onto the wires, and heated it with Mr. Gruffy’s torch. Then he slowly brought the solder close, wincing at how badly his paw was trembling. The solder flowed onto the wires and swiftly became a great glob of silver.

Good thing yer called me in, Mr. Gruffy said. Yer are not steady enough for this kind o’ solderin’. Yer’d ’ave made a right mess o’ th’ board.

Markaius watched intently as the badger carefully resoldered the capacitor back in and fixed the other connections. Then they took the screen back to the cabinet and reinstalled it. Once it was all hooked up and the cabinet was reassembled, Markaius unlocked the plug lockout and plugged the game back in. The game started up, and Markaius grinned as the the bootup info scrolled down the screen. He started a game, the familiar line Enter The Fray sounded, and Markaius proceeded to ace the first level. Yes! he said in satisfaction, seeing the game worked.

Markaius started playing the second level, but Mr. Gruffy stopped him. Mark’us, yer, me, and yer parents need to ’ave a talk.

Okay, he said nervously and unplugged the cabinet before following Mr. Gruffy inside.

Markaius, Russ, his parents, and Mr. Gruffy sat down around the dining room table and Mr. Gruffy took a deep breath. Let’s get straight t’ th’ point. Yer son don’t know it yet, but ’e’s cryin’ out fer a teacher. I’d be glad t’ take ’im as an apprentice.

I think that’s a great idea, said Dad. I watched him repair the light gun, so I’d say he’s ready to learn properly.

With his father already agreeing, Markaius felt he could only say, Yes, sir.

Right then, said Mr. Gruffy. Yer start tomorrow.

In the same vein, Russ showed interest in carpentry. said Dad. If you’re taking Markaius as your apprentice, I’d like to take young Russno as mine.

Russ looked hopefully at his grandfather, who gave him a nod of blessing. If yer work as ’ard at this as yer did when yer were tryin’ t’ learn from me, yer’ll do fine.

Russ smiled. I’d like that... he said.

Dad nodded. Right then. You start tomorrow.

The Field Trip

The following months became a blur. Markaius would go to school, then head straight to Mr. Gruffy’s where he learned the basics of electronics. He learned how to read a diagram, the difference between ohms, watts, and volts, how to troubleshoot something that was malfunctioning (either in hardware or software) and, of course, how to solder properly. As Markaius learned the basics, what the books had said about CRT repair made more sense and he learned just how over his pointy little eartips he’d been.

Russ had settled into carpentry quite well. His first project was a block of wood, its edges beveled and several holes—some small ones on the left, large ones on the right—in a straight row down the center of the block drilled at the same angle and spaced equally apart. He’d nervously presented it to Mr. Gruffy and said it was a holder for pens and markers. The old badger set it on his workbench, took the pens and markers from the old jam jar he kept them in and placed them in the holder. Loverly! he’d said. It’s nice. It really is, and he gave his relieved grandson a strong hug.

Between school, homework, and work, he now could only regularly play the game on weekends—his father hadn’t laid down that rule, but he did need to keep his grades up. But he’d developed a strategy: practice a level until he could beat the boss, then find the sidequest, practice that until he could complete it, and move on to the next level. Over the summer he was able to make a lot of progress, as his dad allowed three games a day throughout the week.

Near the end of the summer, Markaius had managed to finally defeat Battle Of The Gunners, the sidequest of Ships Of The Wall, the final level before the final boss. As he was going to face The Black Void Tyrant, he decided to do a full playthrough.

To save some time, he just skipped through the game’s screens. The first five levels, again, were muscle memory, except for The Living Asteriods. He would use his UNE-278 torpedoes to destroy the larger ones since he’d discovered that destroying a chain of them would make them drop increasing amounts of torpedoes, up to a maximum of five apiece. After destroying the Albino Asteroid via its titular sidequest, he came up against the (relatively) unprotected Minorgh Plaanetoyd with a full compliment of UNE-278 torpedoes.

He was so engrossed in his game he didn’t even see Jaykan enter the room. As the Minorgh Plaanetoyd blew up, Jaykan asked, Didn’t Dad say you could only play this once on weekdays?

Markaius jumped; at least the game was effectively paused by the stats screen. He’s allowed me three times a day since it’s summer.

Can I watch you play?

... Sure. He heard Jaykan move Markaius’s desk chair into position as he started The Black Hole Accretion Disc. When he started the Michellaplace Observatory sidequest, Jaykan looked on in confusion.

I thought this was a space game...

All the sidequests are different genres, said Markaius, wincing as he took damage. Sorry... trying to concentrate here.

Sorry.

He managed to beat the sidequest, and followed the map out of the accretion disc before blazing his way through The Infected Nebula. He couldn’t help but grin as he entered the vortex; taking on Naraashun’s Challenge was still one of his favourite parts of the game.

In The Dorogrim Anomaly still gave him trouble: the ruptures made his shots and ship take weird turns, he barely passed its sidequest Meteor Swarm and the Dorogrim Entity whittled him to a sliver of health on his last life, but during Border Patrol he was able to recover and even get an extra life. Jaykan just got extra confusion at the fight with Commander BlackWahl.

Markaius cursed softly as he missed the entry point for Battle Of The Gunners, though he pointed out to Jaykan the structure on a massive ship that could be blown open for entry into the sidequest. He managed to dodge the lasers from Admiral Tehroar’s Flagship, the boss of the level, but it was not easy.

The Black Void Tyrant’s Battleship

You breath a sigh of relief as the massive fleet is destroyed by the Furry Space Alliance Military. As they mop up, you fly further to check if anything else is coming—and then an unbelievably massive ship uncloaks and hails you.

Congratulations. You have actually angered me. Now you will have the honour of being slain by me, the Black Void Tyrant.

Forgive me if I suck, said Markaius. I’ve never actually played this level before tonight.

It was sheer bullet hell, and Markaius quickly lost to the Black Void Tyrant’s battleship. He tried again using the level select screen, but he discovered that without all the powerups, his ship didn’t stand a chance. He sighed, unplugging the game. Well, that was absolute fail.

Think I could play it sometime? asked Jaykan.

Sure, said Markaius. I’ll just let Dad know what’s going on.

Summer ended, and school restarted and, with the ability to choose classes now, Markaius no longer had to put up with Anna in every class, though she was still a nagging presence in the halls. But that failed to put a damper on the fact that he and Russ were once again friends.

How are things going at the carpentry shop? he asked as the two entered the school.

Good! I’m really likin’ it. Grandpa still usin’ the pen’older?

All the time. I think he uses the jar to hold mints or something, but that pen holder is still on his desk. Ink marks and all.

Russ smiled quietly. An’ ’owzit workin’ for Grandpa?

Pretty intense. It’s pretty involved, and man you need a steady hand for some of this.

Markaius Alsaten, to the office please. Markaius Alsaten, to the office. Thank you.

The three looked at each other, confused at the call over the school PA. Did you mouth off Anna again? asked Jaykan.

Markaius shook his head. I hardly talk to her.

Better go see what’s up. ’Ope it’s nothin’ bogus, said Russ.

When Markaius arrived at the office he was surprised to see Mr. Gruffy waiting for him. The secretary said, Mr. Gruffy wants to take you on a field trip. We called your parents, and you’ve been excused for the day.

Mr. Gruffy nodded. Yer comin’ wi’ me because yer might never see owt like this again.

Once Markaius and Mr. Gruffy were in Mr. Gruffy’s truck, Mr. Gruffy decided to test Markaius’s common sense. So. Why would a company not replace a control panel f’r decades?

... if it still works, why change it?

Not a bad answer. But when summat’s that ol’, what problems would yer run int’?

Finding parts? He remembered some people on the arcade forum complaining about the difficulties of finding suppliers.

Good answer. The other problem is findin’ someone as knows ’ow t’ work on it. Which is why Lansden Metals called me, even though I live more’n an hour away. Also, this thing uses a lot o’ power. So again, I ask yer: why do they keep it?

Markaius could only shrug. I... I don’t know.

Mr. Gruffy smiled. I’ll ask yer again when we’re done. He glanced with worry out at some dark clouds in the distance. ’Ope th’ weather ’olds. Supposed t’ be a bad storm t’day.

Lansden Metals was a large steel mill in the city of Arkeson. Mr. Gruffy gave his identification, introduced Markaius as his apprentice, and then drove in. They parked near the building’s entrance and went in, Mr Gruffy carrying his toolbox and a large padded case, and Markaius carrying a few large boxes.

Good to see you, Bruce, said a hefty, aging beaver as he shook Mr. Gruffy’s paw.

Roulsten. Been a while. This is my new apprentice Mark’us Alsaten.

Good to meet you, Markus, said the beaver, also shaking Markaius’s paw (and getting his name wrong due Mr. Gruffy’s accent). I’m Roulsten Lansden. The aging beaver lead the two down to the control room, where they saw Kraggan also there.

Mr. Gruffy! Glad to see you! Hey, Markaius, Uncle Lawry told me about the apprenticeship. Congratulations.

Thank you, said Markaius as he looked around the control room. He saw nixie tubes aglow, some switching from one number to the next, and was in awe at the sheer size of everything, from the control room to the size of the air conditioners.

We had an incident with a furnace, and it’s still under investigation. But it also affected the control panel. So I called both Kraggan and you, since we need this room back up and running ASAP.

The panel was opened, and Markaius—who had heard of vacuum tube technology and had even seen the insides of some old radios, now saw it in all its archaic glory for the first time. He didn’t have much time to gawk; Kraggan and Mr. Gruffy went to work and Markaius was their gofer as they spoke to him with the terse orders of those in deep concentration. He brought out testing equipment (and watched as they set it up), tools, and components and when he wasn’t doing that he had to call out numbers or report whether or not a light came on when they were in a position they couldn’t see.

Finally, after a couple of hours of testing, checking components and controls, and several tubes replaced, Mr. Gruffy and Kraggan did a full test of the rest of the panels to make sure the whole control room worked. Markaius stared in awe at the venerable marvel before him as he watched gauges move, lights glow, oscilloscopes waver, dekatrons flick from one state to the next, vacuum tubes by the dozen aglow, nixie tubes flip from one number to the next, and tapes on reels move back and forth. He also saw the many, many cables snaking through the wall into the plant, giving an idea of how many machines were wired into this primeval behemoth that conducted the industrial dance on the plant floor.

Mr. Lansden chuckled as he saw Markaius’s face. Quite the sight, isn’t it? Just about every tech we hire has the same look on their face when they see this thing for the first time.

Finally the cabinets were closed up and a technician came in to start up the furnace. He took out his cell phone and said Hey, Rod! About to start up!. He then fired up the furnace, and they watched what happened through the TV screen. The furnace came to life, and the numbers on the nixie tube display showed the temperature. A raccoon on the screen looked at some displays on the furnace itself, then gave the camera a thumbs-up. Looks like it all checks out, said the technician.

Mr. Lansden invited Mr. Gruffy, Kraggan, and Markaius into his office to work out the invoice. Well, I almost hate to say it, but this may well be the last time we call you in, Bruce. The Board of Directors looked over our plan and our financial situation and asked, What we were waiting for?

Mr. Gruffy made an understanding snort. I don’ blame yer. These tubes are gettin’ ’arder an’ ’arder t’ find, an’ th’ prices are goin’ through th’ flippin’ roof.

Techs, too. Everybody we hire to run this room has to be trained from scratch, and I count myself so fortunate that I don’t have to arrange plane tickets and a hotel just to bring a specialist in when it needs repair. And it draws so much power.

After they settled the bill, Mr. Gruffy, Kraggan, and Markaius headed out. Outside the plant, Mr. Gruffy called the weather service to find out what the weather was like on the way back to Willow Clearing. As he listened, he winced. Absolute downpour on th’ way back ’ome. Flood warnin’ an’ all.

I live here in Arkeson. You can stay at my place tonight, said Kraggan. In any case, I’d like to take you out to coffee.

I’d like that.

Kraggan led them to a fairly trendy café. As they parked their vehicles and got out, Markaius glanced into the window of a bike shop, then paused as what looked like a miniature car in the window caught his eye.

Whatcha looking at, Pupster? asked Kraggan.

Oh... just that car thing in the window over there.

Kraggan looked. Ah, that. That’s something Rydr just came out with.

...I think I want one.

Save up your nickles and dimes, because Rydr is a pretty high-end manufacturer.

Mind if I get a closer look?

I’ve got no problem, said Mr. Gruffy, and Kraggan just shrugged.

Markaius went into the bike store. Um... hi. I was looking at this car in the window.

The store assistant smiled as she came over. That is the new velomobile from Rydr, and it’s called the CarCycle. I can tell you it is going to be the thing kids will be asking their parents to get them for the holidays.

I don’t see a price tag on it, though...

Well, that’s just a display model. I’ll get you a brochure so you can see all the options it comes with. She grinned as Markaius looked through it. Make sure to practice those sad puppy eyes for when you ask your parents! she joked.

With the brochure in paw, Markaius rejoined Kraggan and Mr. Gruffy.

Well, you’re certainly shooting for the moon, said Kraggan. If you buy it, I hope you enjoy it a lot, because that’s going to be pricey. They entered the café; it was far more upscale than Markaius had ever seen.

As they sat down, Mr. Gruffy looked at Markaius. So. I ask me question again: Why don’t Lansden Metals upgrade their control room, seein’ ’ow old it is?

Markaius thought a bit. It would be too hard and take too long? Looked like there was a lot of cables going into the plant.

The two older furs nodded. It’s actually a more common problem than you think, Kraggan said. A control room is set up, lots of machinery gets wired into it—and then all of a sudden the company discovers that they’ve got a control room that they can’t find parts for or worse, can’t find techs for—but if they try to upgrade it, their entire plant needs to be shut down for days or weeks. In the steel industry, like some others, that could kill the company. responded Kraggan.

So what was the plan that Mr. Lansden was talking about?

New plant, chorused the two older furs—then they looked at each other and chuckled. Kraggan gestured to Mr. Gruffy, letting the badger explain.

’Is plan is to build a new steel mill wi’ a modern control room, an’ once ’e ’as that goin’, ’e’ll shut down th’ old one an’ upgrade th’ control room. Then ’e ’as two good, modern mills.

I’ll likely be programming the emulator for the old plant.

Emulator? asked Markaius

Kraggan nodded. Emulators are programs that mimic either operating systems or physical hardware—in the case of the plant, I’d be making an emulator for the hardware. That way, the old circuitry can be handled by a modern computer. When I was in university, I learned that upgrading old equipment could be big business, so that’s what I went for. And instead of just studying these circuits in textbooks, I decided the best way to learn was to become an apprentice for someone who actually worked on old electronics and get some real hands-on experience with the real thing. I ended up graduating at the top of my class. He grinned at Mr. Gruffy. I still have that replica Mark VIII I made. He turned to Markaius. One of my projects was to create an emulator—a program that mimics hardware—for an old piece of technology, and I decided I’d do a calculator that used vacuum tubes. But I wanted to show that I really understood the circuitry involved, so I actually made the physical thing. When I showed that to the class, my prof’s jaw was on. The. Floor. Got pretty high marks for the emulator, too.

Is this how you got into emulating arcade games? asked Markaius.

Kraggan nodded. Wouldn’t say it’s easier, either. But the results are more fun. He drank some coffee, then leaned back with a sigh and smiled at Mr. Gruffy. I am so glad to have been your apprentice, Mr. Gruffy. I wouldn’t be nearly the expert in making emulators if I hadn’t worked for you. Thank you.

And I’d like t’ thank yer, since I know me old clients will be in good ’ands when I get too ol’ t’ do this anymore.

There was a silence as they drank their coffee and ate their biscuits.

Moolah Hunter said he had a ROM and an emulator for Star Jam Fighters, and that he used to have a cabinet, said Markaius to try and fill the silence.

Yeah, I’ve got a copy of it. He shook his head. Moolah Hunter pisses us off a lot. If his big-bucks-collectors don’t want a cabinet, he decides that the cabinet is worthless and he’ll get someone to make a ROM from it and chuck the cabinet. He can’t get it through his skull that ten cheap cabinets could net him more money than one big one. Good thing SkaVenJerSam runs an electronics recycling depot and knows him personally, because she’s managed to rescue most of them. Some of those cabinets he threw out were real rarities. Sadly, she did not have the opportunity to save the Star Jam Fighters cabinet; The Bizzarcade had actually offered to buy it from him, but he didn’t want his reputation sullied or some crap. He sighed, and glanced up at a TV, where the news was reporting an absolute torrent that had forced a few highways closed. Well, that settles that. I’ll call Uncle Lawry and tell him you’re stuck here.

While Kraggan called Markaius’ dad to tell him what was going on, Mr. Gruffy called his wife and assured her he was fine, he was spending the night in Arkeson, and to pass his love on to Russ.

So, since you’re stuck here for the day, may I show you someplace really cool? asked Kraggan.

Well, we’ve nowt better to do, said Mr. Gruffy.

Excellent, said Kraggan. Because one of my favourite places in this city is The Bizarrcade!

The Bizarrcade was a pinball and video game arcade specializing in rare and obscure machines, few of which Markaius had even heard of. Mr. Gruffy looked at some of the pinball machines and said to Markaius When I was a lad, Mr. Gruffy said, Pinball games ’ad just one flipper in th’ middle, an’ if th’ ball went anywhere near th’ sides, yer could do nowt but lose!

We actually have one! said a well-dressed otter. We have to keep it on Free Play if we’re going to let customers use it—local ordinances—but I know exactly what you’re talking about. By the way, I’m Tagrung Rudder, one of the owners of the Bizarrcade. Would you like to see it?

As the otter led Mr. Gruffy away, Kraggan brought Markaius to the video game cabinets. Fancy a little one-on-one?

I guess, said Markaius.

You guess? Markaius, I remember you used to be so eager to play against me. What’s changed, Pupster?

Markaius sighed. No matter what game we play, I always lose to you, he finally said.

Kraggan raised an eyebrow. You know, I think you’re getting too caught up with winning to focus on having fun.

Markaius turned to stand face-to-face with his cousin. You know why I’m a loser? Because I lose. You know why I lose? Because that’s what losers do. Let me know when that sounds like fun. He sighed. It kinda hit me when the screen on my game crapped out. I’m the only person who plays it anymore, and even then I can’t win. He shook his head. I know, I’m just complaining. Like that LetsPlayer Fred From The Dark Side—

That’s different, Kraggan interrupted. He claims to be a professional gamer, but he’ll skip tutorials, won’t pay attention to what’s going on in the game, and then he’ll say a game he didn’t bother to learn anything about sucks, ragequit, and basically make a fool of himself. You, on the other hand are complaining about a cabinet that’s literally falling apart. The screen failing would rattle even me. He clapped Markaius on the shoulder. If you don’t want one-on-one, how about something coöperative?

Okay!

The game the two decided on was Quest For The Sphere. It was a blatant ripoff of a DragonLance game that Kraggan had at home on his Multi-Game Cabinet, but at least it was a competent ripoff. Before long, Markaius was struggling. His armour and weapons were seriously underpowered, and he was unable to afford the more powerful healing potions, which meant his character was constantly dying, and Kraggan had to resurrect him regularly. After Kraggan ran out of Resurrection Scrolls on a level, the older dog was clearly getting frustrated. He let his cursor hover over Resurrection Scrolls, but didn’t buy any. Markauis just left his cursor over the Exit Shop sign.

Pupster, is there a reason you’re not upgrading? Kraggan asked, irritated. I understand you look cool and all with that armour and dagger, but it’s getting hard keeping you alive.

Markaius resisted the urge to growl. I can’t afford it, he said in a carefully controlled voice.

Can’t afford it? You should have— He looked at the number of gold coins Markaius’s character had and blinked. How on earth do you get this far into the game while buying Jack Bupkiss Squat, and end up with less than 20 gold?

Your partner grabs it all.

Kraggan was silent for several seconds, then he sighed as his tail drooped and his ears went back. I see. He bought several Resurrection, Armour Buff, and Weapon Buff scrolls as he muttered a humbled apology to his cousin. Throughout the next level, Kraggan protected his cousin’s character from as much harm as he could and carefully avoided the loot drops so Markaius could pick them up instead. At the shop at the end of the next level, Kraggan advised Markaius on what gear would be best within his budget. With that done, Markaius was still lagging, but not nearly as badly, and he was able to contribute well to the battle against the final boss.

After the game was done, they saw Mr. Gruffy enter the room. ’Avin’ fun? he asked, then a puzzled look came across his face. Owt on yer mind? he asked Kraggan.

Well, I complained about Markaius’s fixation on winning and griped about him refusing to upgrade his gear, said Kraggan, then plastered on a sarcastically huge grin and pricked his ears up as high as they would go. And then I discovered my footpaw tastes terrible! His face fell back into a wry smile. Let’s just say I learned the hard way what he was upset about and that I was a being a total cur.

Mr. Gruffy raised an eyebrow, but neither Kraggan nore Markaius wanted to elaborate, so he let it drop. Interestin’ place, this. I saw all th’ pinball machines, and me jaw nearly ’it th’ floor!

Kraggan chuckled. From what I understand, Tagrung Rudder—the otter that greeted us—is a huge pinball nerd and also enjoys the old arcade cabinets, and his interest is geared towards the weird, the rare, and the obscure. And he’s the kind of collector who just loves showing off his collection. His brother, Fernie Rudder, saw a business opportunity and... well now there’s an old-school arcade in Arkeson. Popular amongst guys my age because of nostalgia, popular amongst kids because it’s completely different from other arcades, and popular amongst gaming historians because boy has he dug some rarities and oddballs. He’s even got a section in the basement called The Dungeon of Dreck, where he has all the worst games he’s come across. Only the morbidly curious go there.

Mr. Gruffy nodded. I’m sorry to cut the fun short, but all of a sudden I’m tired. It’s been a long day, and I’m an ol’ badger.

I understand, said Kraggan. We can go to my place now. He turned to Markaius. You can practice Star Jam Fighters on my computer. Like I said, I have a ROM of the game.

When they got to Kraggan’s house, Mr. Gruffy and Markaius were shown to the guest rooms. Mr. Gruffy lay down on the bed and promptly fell asleep. Kraggan took Markaius to his gaming room, and started up his computer. Markaius fired up Star Jam Fighters and began playing. eager to show his cousin how far he’d come. He flew through Port Invasion as usual, but struggled with the controls; it seemed they were just a touch slow, and he took quite a bit of damage until he adjusted to the slight delay. Also, some of the enemies would flicker and briefly turn into strange shapes. He looked at Kraggan, who shrugged and admitted the ROM had a few minor glitches. Finally, he landed his ship at the broken bay door to begin Boarding Action.

And the game crashed.

Kraggan reset the computer while Markaius watched. The young dog started playing the game again, landed his ship at the broken bay door—

And the game crashed.

Um, you might want to avoid that spot, Kraggan noted wryly.

This ROM sucks, muttered Markaius.

Don’t go all Fred From The Dark Side, Pupster, teased Kraggan as he reset the computer. Just avoid that spot.

Markaius sighed and played through Port Invasion and avoided its sidequest, then began Red Star Gauntlet, docking with the large, invincible ship to battle it out with Captain Malevolas.

And the game crashed.

Markaius gave a growl, reset the computer, and restarted the game, avoiding both the broken bay door and the large ship, and landed on the Albino Asteroid.

And the game crashed.

Don’t be Fred FDS, don’t be Fred FDS Markaius growled over and over as he took a walk around the room and made sure not to look at his cousin. He sat down and started the game again and played again, though his performance was hampered by his frustration. He decided he was going to give the game one more chance as he brought his ship to Michellaplace Observatory.

And the game crashed.

And Markaius gave up.

He was tempted to throw the controller, but set it down with the deliberate gentleness of one with a firm grip on temper. He turned around in the chair and stood up. He looked Kraggan in the eye, trying to think of something to say, but had nothing. Kraggan looked apologetic, but was equally silent. Finally Markaius walked by his cousin wordlessly and went to bed. As he left, he heard Kraggan mutter, I didn’t even know that station was there.

The next day the weather had cleared, so Markaius and Mr. Gruffy were able to head home. Kraggan promised Markaius a full day at the Bizarrcade for either his birthday or Christmas and gave him a hug before Markaius and Mr. Gruffy headed back home.

On the way home, Markaius thought about the ROM that Moolah Hunter was selling and found himself frustrated. He wanted to show Kraggan how well he was doing, only to look like an idiot in front of his cousin.

Again.

Once they were back in Willow Clearing, Mr. Gruffy stopped by Markaius’s house so the young dog could grab his books and throw his bike in the back of Mr. Gruffy’s truck before they headed off to the school. He was late for his first-period English class, but his teacher simply welcomed him back. So, how was your day off? she asked.

I learned that dinosaurs still walk the earth.

How very interesting. Well, yesterday, I assigned places for the class to write essays about and I know just the place for you, she said. Write about field trip Mr. Gruffy took you on.

Okay!

Flawless Victory—Futility!

It had been a good day.

Markaius’s no-longer-alleged essay on CRT repair had gotten him a B+ in English class (and some skepticism and criticism on the amount of technical jargon he’d used), Russ had been aglow about an all-wood clock he’d made from downloaded plans, and one bray-and-bellow (literal!) jackass had learned a very expensive lesson on why one didn’t let one’s personal soundguy screw around with a 60-year-old sound system he didn’t know.

Even better, Markaius and Russ had each saved up enough to buy a CarCycle. The two had to get the absolute bottom-of-the-barrel cheapest option: CarCycle frames that came in crates of parts the two youngsters had to assemble themselves, and the bodywork and electric systems were up to the youngsters. But with the training each of them had in their apprenticeships, the assembly hadn’t been hard, Russ had built bodies for the two CarCycles while Markaius provided the lights, and today had been the first day the two had taken them to school.

The only real downer was that Jaykan was still in elementary school, while Markaius and Russ had started middle school, which meant Jaykan could no longer sit with Russ and Markaius during lunch.

Still feeling a glow from the day, he would, as had he had for a few years now, unwind with a good game of Star Jam Fighters. He had fully beaten it—sort of. He had earned the badges for 100% kills, all the sidequests, and all the powerups, but that coveted no-hit run still eluded him.

He knew he would get it eventually, so he kept a camera on his dresser in order to take a selfie when he finally aced the game.

The year is 2525. The Furry Space Alliance has known peace for hundreds of years. But all that has changed. The evil Black Void Tyrant is intent on conquering the galaxy, and has sent his Dark Star fleet to invade the peaceful Furry Space Alliance

You, a champion Star Jam Fighter, have been sent to face this fearsome army and to take down the Black Void Tyrant.

Do not fail this mission! The Alliance needs you!

Level I: Port Invasion

The forces of the Black Void Tyrant’s vanguard, commanded by the brutal commander Morghass Torgh, are trying to conquer Fort Balsoth. Civilians flee for their lives as enemy craft swarm the port. Take out his vanguard, but be careful not to harm any of the fleeing civilians.

Enter The Fray!

Markaius flew through the level, every shot taking out an enemy ship almost as soon as it appeared, while no civilian ship was harmed. He cleared out the cluster of ship near the broken bay doors and flew his ship in.

Boarding Action

The soldiers of Morghass Torgh have broken through a bay door, intent on reaching the bridge of Fort Balsoth and disabling its defenses. Take them down before they take control!

Markaius set his jaw as he prepared to face the horde of soldiers. The Run-And-Guns were still the toughest part of the game for him, but somehow this one fell into place. He got a powerup-up early on in the run which made his shots do double damage, meaning he had to shoot less and it made avoiding their attacks easier, and he reached the end of the sidequest sooner than usual.

Your ferocity and skill at fighting send the soldiers fleeing for their lives, and with their strongest fighters down, security can clear out the rest. You reach a set of controls for the station’s defences and fire off a salvo of missiles that damages the shields of Morghass Torgh’s ship. You must still defeat him, or Fort Balsoth will be overrun!

Take a photo of the Beat Them Back badge screen when you complete the game!

His eyes brightened when he saw gold stars in each corner: it meant he’d taken no damage during the run. Normally, he only saw those during the one-on-one fighting games and, more rarely, in the shooting games. This was the first time he’d seen them for a Run-And-Gun. With a wag in his tail, he continued on with Port Invasion and easily thrashed Morghass Torgh.

Level I: Port Invasion Results

Damage Suffered:	0
Civilian Ships Damaged/Destroyed:	0/0
Enemies Destroyed:	100%
Powerups Gathered:	100%
UNE Torpedoes Gathered:	100%

Level II: Red Star Gauntlet

Morghass Torgh has fallen, but as his ship disintigrates, it sends out a signal to a distant system. You feel a chill as you recognize where it is going: a powerful evil being known only as the Red Star. The rest of the vanguard must be there, guarded by the vile stellar entity.

Again, the level was complete muscle memory. As always, he kept an eye out for those flickers, automatically positioning his ship where those flares could do no harm while he could still fire at the enemies. As he docked with large ship, his tail began wagging at the start of one of his favourite sidequests.

Captain Malevolas

You have boarded the personal craft of the treacherous Captain Malevolas, one of Morghass Torgh’s fiercest lieutenants. Intent on avenging Morghass Torgh, he demands a one-on-one battle to the death.

This sidequest was fairly easy, as fighting games went, and Markaius had even discovered some glitches in the way that Captain Malevolas moved that allowed Markaius to stunlock him and drain his health without getting a lick of damage himself. He even toyed with Captain Malevolas, continuing to beat on his foe even after he’d won the fight.

Captain Malevolas crumples to the ground and lays there motionless. As you step over his lifeless body, you see his ship has a special device that guards it from the Red Star’s flares. You add the device to your own ship in preparation of taking on the evil Red Star.

Take a photo of the Leader Of The Vanguard badge when you complete the game!

It wasn’t like he needed the shield since he’d long aced the level, but the gold stars appearing once again promised him that this might be the time he got to his ultimate goal.

Level II: Red Star Gauntlet Results

Damage Suffered:	0
Civilian Ships Damaged/Destroyed:	0/0
Enemies Destroyed:	100%
Powerups Gathered:	100%
UNE Torpedoes Gathered:	100%

Level III: The Living Asteroids

With the collapse of the Living Flare, the evil Red Star is forced to go dormant and lick its wounds for the next few centuries. But you’re not in the clear yet, for its asteroids are equally alive, and they seek to avenge their humiliated master. Fight bravely, lest they grind your ship to scrap or, worse, feed you to their leader, the dreaded Mynorgh Plaanetoyd!

First things first: as soon as The Albino Asteroid appeared, Markaius landed on it to take it out.

The Albino Asteroid

You have landed on the face of the Minorgh Plaanetoyd’s malevolent guardian, The Albino Asteroid. It has ensnared many astronauts here for its own dark amusement. Defeat its minions, save the astronauts, and end this vile being’s reign of terror!

He pulled the gun from its holder and prepared himself. He pulled the trigger to begin the game and began placing shot after shot into the rock monsters. His tail stilled as he concentrated on the level and was taken by surprise when all of a sudden, the sidequest was over and he had the victory screen with those gold stars again.

The avatar of the Albino Asteroid crumbles, and the ground begins to crack. The astronauts you saved flee to their ships, and start blasting off. You make it to your ship in the nick of time and take off as the evil living rock crumbles to dust below you.

Take a photo of the Rock Versus Blaster badge screen when you complete the game!

With The Albino Asteroid now dust, the rest of the level was easy, and no asteroid got anywhere near him. He even picked up all the ammunition, even though his ship couldn’t store it all. He’d learned by now that he was docked if he didn’t pick up ammunition he didn’t need.

Level III: The Living Asteroids

Damage Suffered:	0
Civilian Ships Damaged/Destroyed:	0/0
Enemies Destroyed:	100%
Powerups Gathered:	100%
UNE Torpedoes Gathered:	100%

Level IV: Black Hole Accretion Disc

You have blasted the Mynorgh Plaanetoyd to rubble and escaped the Red Star System. But in a final act of spite, The Red Star sends up a feeble flare that makes your navigation system momentarily malfunction. Once you get it working again, you find yourself in the worst plac eto be in the cosmos: the accretion disk of a black hole. You need to find a way out, or face the ultimate oblivion!

Markaius had learned that this level did have some powerups, which allowed him to blast through clusters of debris and rocks and take shortcuts. Thanks to this, it didn’t take him long to find his way to the Michellaplace Observatory/Station (he still got some mild amusement over the fact that one was used in the game proper and the other in the level select), and he braced himself for another Run-And-Gun.

Michellaplace Observatory

In the black hole accretion disc, you’ve come across Michellaplace Observatory, where scientists study the black hole. Unfortunately, they’ve been boarded by space pirates who want to use this as their base.

The head scientist begs you to try to clear out the pirates.

He took a deep breath and began the sidequests. He had a couple of close calls, barely avoiding the pirates’ attacks, but he took his time and didn’t push his luck, until finally the level was done, and the gold stars again appeared on the screen.

The pirates are driven off the station and forced to flee back to their ship! Well done, you have saved the scientists on the station!

In gratitude, they upload a map of the accretion disc for you to follow.

Take a photo of the To The Rescue! badge screen when you complete the game!

His heart started to beat faster as he completed the rest of the level. Was this it? Was this the No-Hit run he was hoping so much for?

Level IV: Black Hole Accretion Disc

Damage Suffered:	0
Powerups Gathered:	100%

Level V: The Infected Nebula

The Black Void Tyrant’s corruption is felt strongly here. The once-beautiful Girshon Nebula is now crawling with evil space-dwelling vermin, making it a perilous place to be. Lurking deep within is one who was once Furry Space Alliance’s greatest commander but now the Tyrant’s most powerful warlords, the treacherous Lord ThunderStar, who intends to turn the nebula into a breeding ground of his vile creatures. Destroy the creatures, help the trapped civilians escape and take down Lord Thunderstar before the nebula becomes an irredeemable pit of horror!

For some reason, beating this level still gave him some satisfaction he didn’t feel with the others—maybe a holdover from when his mom used to drag him away before he could beat it. It didn’t take him long to find the vortex that lead him to Naraashun’s Challenge.

Naraashun’s Challenge

You enter a vortex that takes you to an otherworldly dimension, where the sorcerous Naraashun, the corrupting agent of the Black Void Tyrant who led Lord ThunderStar astray, meets you. So, this is the hero of the Star Jam Fighters. Greetings and also farewell, for it is time for you to die!

Naraashun was more of a challenge than Captain Malevolas had been since he had a lot of long-range attacks, but Markaius knew how to avoid them. Unlike what he did with Captain Malevolas, he didn’t play around but simply took Naraashun down as fast as he could, earning yet another perfect victory.

Naraashun falls to the floor with a terrible howl and lies there motionless. You find a device on his craft and add it to your own to boost your weaponry. Before you leave, you contact Lord Thunderstar, letting him look at Naraashun’s body as a grim warning.

Take a photo of the A Warning To The Traitor badge screen when you complete the game!

Markaius blasted his way through the rest of the level, and his powerup-enhanced UNE-278 torpedoes made short work of Lord ThunderStar’s ship, and he couldn’t help but wag his tail hard as red and orange circles flashed all over it as the ship shuddered into oblivion.

Level V: The Infected Nebula

Damage Suffered:	0
Civilian Ships Damaged/Destroyed:	0/0
Enemies Destroyed:	100%
Powerups Gathered:	100%
UNE Torpedoes Gathered:	100%

Level VI: The Dorogrim Anomaly

Lord ThunderStar’s ship disintigrates, but the nebula doesn’t heal. Something else is here, spreading its interstellar poison. You go further and discover a place where physics itself is being corrupted by a being known only as the Dorogrim Entity.

Flying through this part was still hard, but he’d learned to tell where the black holes would appear and even how to use them to redirect his shots into enemies. About half-way through the level there was an abandoned refueling station, and he landed his ship on it to begin the level’s sidequest.

Meteor Swarm

You have found an old refueling station and discover it still has some fuel left over. As you refil your tanks, you see a swarm of small meteors coming your way. Perhaps it is bad luck, or perhaps the Dorogrim Entity has sent them to destroy you as you stand helpless. Destroy them with your gun before they tear the fueling station to shreds—and you with it!

This was even tougher than the The Albino Asteroid since the meteors could come from any direcition on the screen. Markaius kept his breathing steady as he fired shot after shot, sending the meteors flying away. As the last one flew off into the distance without a single one hitting him, he realized his heart was pounding. As the text screen displayed, he missed the gun holder a couple times before he managed to store the gun properly.

You hear the sound of the pumps change as there is no more fuel left to be pumped. You quickly disconnect your ship from the depot and take off before the Dorogrim Entity can send another salvo of meteors. As you take off, you think you see the meteors hit the Entity in the far distance.

Take a photo of the Depot Defense badge screen when you complete the game!

After he battled his way through the level and came up to the Dorogrim Entity, he discovered that how well he did in Meteor Swarm actually affected its effect. When he’d first beat it, most of the asteroids had struck the station and it had but a sliver of health left; meanwhile and the damage to the Dorogrim Entity was minimal. A perfect performance took off more than a third of the Entity’s life bar. He placed his shots so they wended their way around the black holes and struck the Entity, and he even used some of the black holes to make his ship avoid the Entity’s blasts. As the entity shuddered, flashed, and exploded into pixels across the screen, Markaius was forcing himself to calm down. He was on a roll, and he didn’t want to blow it.

Level VI: The Dorogrim Anomaly

Damage Suffered:	0
Civilian Ships Damaged/Destroyed:	0/0
Enemies Destroyed:	100%
Powerups Gathered:	100%
UNE Torpedoes Gathered:	100%

Level VII: Black Flame Fleet

You have come across the Black Flame Fleet, mercenaries hired by the Black Void Tyrant to harass the Furry Space Alliance and keep its patrol ships busy while the Tyrant sends in its own forces. Taking them down will help the Furry Space Alliance patrols immensely.

There were few civilian ships in this level, but the FSA Patrol ships served much the same purpose, except now they were engaging in active combat, and Markaius had to save as many of them as he could—an FSA Patrol ship taking damage from an enemy didn’t count towards the Civilian Ships Damaged count, but one blown to smithereens did towards Civilian Ships Destroyed. This time, Markaius managed to keep them all from being blasted away, and by the time he blasted a hole in the side of the Black Flame Mothership to begin Black Flame Mothership Bay, he had a whole fleet of them following him and blasting through the enemies.

Black Flame Mothership Bay

You blast your way into a bay on the mothership. Your sensors have detected that the main part of the ship has a powerful shield resistant to UNE-278 torpedoes. Take it down so you can teach these mercs a lesson they’ll never forget!

Markaius’s fur was standing on end as he battled through this, the penultimate Run-And-Gun of the game; only the one for the Boss Level was left. The enemies came in swarms, and he had learned how to place his attacks so they damaged multiple enemies at once, giving him breathing room. He could almost feel his pulse in his fingers, seeing the gold stars on the winning text screen.

You battle your ways to a power source of the shield generator and place an explosive device on it, then make a mad dash back to your ship. As you take off, the power source is blown apart, and the sudden load on the other power sources cause them to fail in a domino effect, and soon your sensors tell you that the shield has failed.

Take a photo of the It’s Sabotage badge screen when you complete the game!

He had to take a few deep breaths before continuing with the level, and with the shield gone, his UNE-278 torpedoes struck true every time, instead of him having to weaken a spot in the shield before getting one through. As the Black Flame Mothership flashed with red and orange circles and vanished from the screen, Markaius took a moment to process what was going on. He was getting so close to that perfect run!

Level VII: Black Flame Fleet

Damage Suffered:	0
Civilian Ships Damaged/Destroyed:	0/0
Enemies Destroyed:	100%
Powerups Gathered:	100%
UNE Torpedoes Gathered:	100%

Level VIII: Border Patrol

You are now coming up against the fleets of the Black Void Tyrant himself. All around you, the Furry Space Alliance military wages a desperate battle against their foe. As you come towards the border between his territory and the Furry Space Alliance, you know you are in for a savage fight. And somewhere is Commodore Tarakhsan, a ferocious warrior who has literally become one with his space destroyer.

And a savage fight it was, with swarms of ships coming his way, and he had to move and shoot fast to keep them at bay. Keeping the FSA ships from being blown apart while avoiding shooting them by accident was not easy at all, and Markaius found himself periodically holding his breath as he battled his way through. Like Captain Malevolas, Commander BlackWahl was aboard a large, unique ship impervious to any ordinance. Markaius docked his ship with it, and got ready for another one-on-one fighting game.

Commander BlackWahl

Commander BlackWahl, leader of the Border Patrol, has caught your ship in a tractor beam and pulled it aboard his personal battleship. The cyborg controls it through his own body, eliminating the need for a crew. The cyborg speaks in an metallic tone. My master will be pleased when I place your head at his feet.

Markaius knew he had to get in the first shot, and he did. Beating Commander BlackWahl required a precise timing of moves and strikes, and he’d learned that using the beat of the battle music as a guide actually helped to keep Commander BlackWahl off-balance. Markaius was completely focused on this; if Commander BlackWahl managed to hit back, he’d quickly become nigh impossible to beat. And then, the cyborg’s body was covered in small sparks and lighting as he collapsed to the floor.

Commander BlackWahl collapses to the floor, his mechanical parts overheating and frying his flesh to a crisp. With the commander downed, the battleship is yours to command!

Take a photo of the Commander Vs. Commander badge screen when you complete the game!

Commander BlackWahl’s ship had extra weaponry and shields, and it was the only time that the two rows of buttons had different effects; the bottom row maintained the standard actions, while the top row activated the ship’s specialty weapons. The larger ship made fighting Commodore Tarakhsan—another cyborg who was literally fused with his ship, much easier—but there was also a quick-time event Markaius had to perform: The destruction of Commodore Tarakhsan also destroyed Commander’s BlackWahl’s craft, and the quick-time event had to be performed lest Markaius’s ship be destroyed with them.

Level VIII: Border Patrol

Damage Suffered:	0
FSA Ships Damaged/Destroyed:	0/0
Enemies Destroyed:	100%
Powerups Gathered:	100%
UNE Torpedoes Gathered:	100%

Level IX: Ships Of The Wall

You battle through the border, and now face the fleet commanded by The Black Void Tyrant himself. They are all that stand between you and the Tyrant, but they are an elite force. With the forces of the Furry Space Alliance Military behind you, you steel yourself for one final battle before your showdown with the Black Void Tyrant.

Markaius guided his ship through the hailstorm of projectiles. FSA ships were everywhere, making the level more challenging as he struggled to rescue them without hitting them. The sounds of firing and ships being destroyed only heightened his senses and he could feel his very fur quivering. He blasted through a bay door on Admiral Tehroar’s Flagship, which was the boss, and started the penultimate light gun sidequest.

Battle Of The Gunners

You blast a hole into the ship and land your craft on the gun deck. Several gunners bring up their energy blasters to blow you away. Destroy their gun stations to disable the flagship’s heavy lasers! But hurry: reinforcements and repair techs are on the way!

To avoid being hit by the blasters, Markaius had to shoot them first and, during the brief times no—one was popping up on screen, he had to blast away at the consoles. It required fast aiming and fast firing and one by one the consoles blew up and were reduced to burning debris. He ignored the countdown; it was only a distraction. Finally, the last console exploded, ending the sidequest.

The damage to the consoles cause a massive explosion. You barely make it back to your ship and fly away as the whole section of the flagship explodes, rendering the laser banks useless.

Take a photo of the Flagship Shootout badge screen when you complete the game!

It was back to the bullet hell, but Markaius was beginning to feel a sense of peace. He wasn’t at the end yet, but he felt like the perfect run was guaranteed. He knew he couldn’t slack off; he still had the boss and the Black Void Tyrant to deal with, but it felt like this was meant to be.

Taking on the flagship felt strangely easy. He barely heard the music or the sound effects anymore, all his attention focused to taking out Admiral Tehroar’s flagship. With well—placed shots, he took out the rest of the flagship’s weaponry, and his victory was heralded by a swarm of FSA military ships of all sizes showing up and blasting the flagship to scrap.

Level IX: Ships Of The Wall

Damage Suffered:	0
FSA Ships Damaged/Destroyed:	0/0
Enemies Destroyed:	100%
Powerups Gathered:	100%
UNE Torpedoes Gathered:	100%

Markaius took a deep breath and steadied himself. It was time to face The Black Void Tyrant himself.

The Black Void Tyrant’s Battleship

You breath a sigh of relief as the massive fleet is destroyed by the Furry Space Alliance Military. As they mop up, you fly further to check if anything else is coming—and then an unbelievably massive ship uncloaks and hails you.

Congratulations. You have actually angered me. Now you will have the honour of being slain by me, the Black Void Tyrant.

It was only one ship, but it was festooned with weapons that Markaius had to destroy. There were no civilian ships nor FSA ships to protect, which meant Markaius didn’t need to worry about hitting something he shouldn’t. He didn’t even realize his teeth were bared until he heard himself growling and he forced himself to calm down. As he finally blasted away the main power plant of the ship, he briefly wished he hadn’t done the sidequests. Without the sidequests, this would be the end of the game. But each type of sidequest unlocked a stage of the final boss matching that type.

The destruction of the power plant blasts a huge hole in the ship, and you pilot your craft inside. Exiting your ship, you know the battle isn’t over yet....

Gauntlet

As you enter a room, you find yourself faced by a horde of the Black Void Tyrant’s elite soldiers, ready to defend the ship to the death.

This was the last Run-And-Gun, the last of his least favourite type of sidequest, unlocked by doing and of the other of his his least favourite sidequests. He worked the joystick and tapped the buttons frantically, blasting his way through wave after wave of enemies. At times it was hard to see where his character was there were so many bodies flying about, but he never heard that distinct grunt that told him he took damage, nor did his health bar budge. Finally, he got to the end of Gauntlet. If he’d only done the Run-And-Gun sidequests, his character would activate the self-destruct mechanism—but he’d also done the one-on-one fighters, which meant it was the one-on-one battle with General Darhkxyyd.

General Darhkxyyd

In a large room not far from where you parked your fighter, you find yourself facing General Darhkxyyd, The Black Void Tyrant’s second-in-command and a freak of genetic engineering and cyborg construction. He simply glares at you and powers up his weaponry, ready to fight you.

This was the hardest of the fights, as stunlocking General Darhkxyyd was almost impossible. It took every trick Markaius knew to avoid the attacks and damage the cyborg. He studiously ignored the timer as he battled the monster and when General Darhkxyyd fell back, flashed a few times and exploded, there was less than 10 seconds left. If Markaius hadn’t done any of the light gun levels, General Darhkxyyd’s demise would have set off a chain reaction that would destroy the entire ship—but Markaius had done those levels, which meant he would have a gunfight with the Black Void Tyrant himself.

Showdown With The Tyrant

You walk into a massive throne room, and the dreaded Black Void Tyrant sits on his throne. So, we meet face-to-face, Star Jam Failure. You have come so far, but this is where it ends, with your mangled corpse under my feet. The Tyrant stands up and draws his weapon. It is do or die.

The Black Void Tyrant was connected to a pile of machinery (which included his electronic throne) by a web of cables. Markaius steeled himself as the Tyrant stood up, aimed his rocket launcher, and sent a hail of rockets at Markaius, Markiaus started shooting them, causing them to explode before they reached him. Markaius knew from past experience his own gun did no damage to the Black Void Tyrant; only way to injure the Tyrant is to shoot the rockets while they were still close enough to the Tyrant—not easy with how many rockets the Tyrant was sending his way! But slowly, Markaius whittled down the Tyrant’s health until finally, a final rocket caused the Tyrant, throne and all, to self-destruct.

As the Black Void Tyrant’s body blows itself apart, the destruction begins to spread to the rest of the ship. You dash at top speed back to your craft, feeling the approaching heat behind you and take off in the nick of time as the huge ship blows itself apart behind you.

Congratulations, the Furry Space Alliance will know peace once again!

Remember to take photos of the badges you earned along the way!

The next screen started showing the various badges around the edges. Markaius took a deep breath as he counted. The five performance badges appeared one by one across the top of the screen, then the nine sidequest badges in a three-by-three grid at the bottom. And then, faint at first but becoming clearer, was the image of the badge of the Ultimate Star Jam Fighter came into view, taking up most of the screen.

YES! hollered Markaius, stepping away from the view. Then he heard applause from behind him. He spun around and saw his family had been watching him.

Hey bro, said Anja, picking up his camera. Say cheese!

Cheese! said Markaius in a shaky voice and Anja took several pictures of him and the cabinet while the cabinet still showed the badge screen and played the victory music. When the game finally went back to Attract Mode, Markaius panted, That was intense!

Looked like it, said Dad. We started watching you about the time you were shooting those rock monsters and we kept quiet because we didn’t want to distract you. Here, let me unplug that for you, I can see how bad you’re shaking. Dad unplugged the cabinet, then clapped his son on the shoulder. Good thing tomorrow is Saturday. You’ve been playing it for a while, and I think you might be too wired to sleep right now.

Markaius nodded ruefully. The family hugged him and congratulated him before heading to bed. Markaius himself lay down on his bed, unable to stop smiling at his long-awaited victory.

And that’s when the adrenaline crash hit.

When the photos were developed, Markaius put a couple in an envelope addressed to Characo Games. He left home early the next morning so he could swing by the post office on the way to school. He figured it would be a few weeks, but he was looking forwards to getting to his badges, taking a photo of them, and showing it to his cousin. One at school, he parked his CarCycle and got out.

Excuse me, came a voice he never wanted to hear. This place is for those who bought the correct size of CarCycle. Anna put her paw meaningfully on the front of her CarCycle, which (as she wouldn’t shut up about) had all the top options and the most expensive body style that Rydr offered—and, of course, was the perfect size for her. Stupid kids who buy the wrong size have to park them out of sight. You know, to save everyone else the second-hand embarassment.

Shaddap, Anna, replied Markaius. He knew that his CarCycle looked ridiculously big with him in it, but his parents had insisted he get the largest size he could so he wouldn’t spend that much money on something he’d grow right out of. He looked up the road and grinned as he saw Russ coming up. Even Russ looked a little silly in his as his grandparents had followed Markaius’s parent’s lead.

How dare you tell me to shut up? demanded Anna.

Markaius ignored her, greeting Russ. Dude!

Russno grinned. ’Ey, bro! Want t’ know summat funny? he said, standing so his back was to Anna.

Sure!

I was at th’ bike store in Arkeson over th’ weekend, an’ they ’as a whole lineup of these. He patted the hood of his velomobile. The bodies I built ’ave loads of room f’r cargo. Their bodies? Barely room f’ yer lunch!

Markaius nodded as he opened the back of his and took out his large book bag.

Excuse me! said Anna. I’m talking here! A number of the wealthier students came up in their CarCycles, all in proper proportion to their riders. Markaius and Russ got a few stares, but the other students said nothing.

Somebody say something? asked Markaius.

Russ shrugged. I ’eard absolutely nowt.

I think I heard something. asked Markaius. Something like... Yap yap yap, arf arf arf, woof woof woof. I could have been just hearing things, though.

As they headed into the school, Markaius overheard a jaguar tell a friend that they’d heard the Alsatens almost broke the bank to get a CarCycle and so bought one that Markaius could ride for the rest of his life. If only that jaguar knew the true story...

A few weeks passed and Markaius couldn’t get the badges off his mind. The imagined scene of him showing a stunned Kraggan replayed in his mind over and over, and he had to force himself to focus both at school and at work. He’d aced the game a number of times now, even finding new strategies to make it easier.

After work one Monday he came home and found that there was an envelope addressed to him. He knew it couldn’t be his badges because it was too small, and it was from a company called Darkmist Studios. He opened it and found both the envelope he’d sent to Characo Games and a letter.

Dear Markaius Alsaten.

I don’t know how you got this address, but I regret to inform you that Characo Games no longer uses it and I do not know what their current address is or if they are still in business at all. I tried a brief search on the internet, but could not find any information on them.

I can tell you we’ve had this address for nearly 20 years, so you might be out of luck.

I apologize for any inconvenience this causes.

Sincerely,

Ursus Pandion, Darkmist Studios.

Aftermath Of Failure

Markaius stared at the letter before letting it fall from his handpaw. He suddenly felt very, very empty. The years of playing the game daily, the repairs, the research, the frustration. All for nothing. Finally, he went to his room and typed in a post on the The Arcade Game Builder Forums.

Is Characo Games Still Around?

StarJamKid

Does anyone know if Characo Games still exists? I sent them a picture so I could get some badges, but I got the envelope back unopened.

While he waited for a reply, he turned to his cabinet and found no desire to even touch it. He looked at the electronics books, and discovered he had no interest in them either.

Finally, he rechecked the forum, and there was the news he dreaded.

Is Characo Games Still Around?

Moolah_Hunter

Characo Games has been out of business for decades because their game was crap, dumbass. This is what you get for buying worthless junk.

Markaius gritted his teeth as he read Moolah Hunter’s response and started typing angrily.

Is Characo Games Still Around?

StarJamKid

You made a garbage ROM to scam people out of their money, and think you can call a game "worthless"?

After he submitted his post, Markaius lay back on his bed, and just stared at the ceiling. All for nothing.

He hadn’t even realized he’d fallen asleep until his mom woke him for breakfast. He was still dressed in yesterday’s clothes, though the light was off. He got up and headed downstairs for breakfast.

Dad was puzzled by his son’s attire and mood. Somethin’ wrong, son? Your mother said you were asleep on your bed, still dressed and with the light on.

Dun wanna talk about it.

He ate breakfast in silence, then headed off to school, not talking to anyone in his family. Throughout the morning he remained strangely reserved, and at lunch, Russ finally asked him what was wrong.

Markaius sighed and confided in his friend. The guys who made Star Jam Fighters offered badges if you completed objectives in the game. So I mailed them and... last night, I found out they were out of business.

Unfortunately, Anna overheard and siezed the chance to get back at him for regularly ignoring her. Oh, boo hoo! she called out sarcastically. Hey, everyone! Markaius couldn’t get some badges! Let’s all have a great big cry for his first world problems! She turned to Markaius with a sneer. You think you have it rough? Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, other people have it harder than missing out on some stupid badges? Like Russno here! Ever asked what his life is like? Why he lives with his grandparents? Why he goes by Russno Gruffy when his real name is Alden Salamand? Or how it felt when his parents abandoned him for being developmentally delayed? Or mayb—

She was cut off by a loud growl as Russno stood to his full height, teeth bared and hackles raised. You could hear a pin drop as Russno came towards Anna and loomed over her as if he was about to break every bone in her body. He stood there, his fists trembling, staring straight into her terror-tearful eyes. Finally he spoke. Never. Call. Me. That. Again. The room was so silent one could almost hear the LEDs of the clock switch between on and off. That is not me name. That was NEVER me name. He loomed like an impending rockslide over the terrified poodle, his teeth fully bared, his breath trembling, and his handpaw clenching and unclenching. A few times he started to speak, but words failed him.

Russno Gruffy? Please calm down and come with me, said the school’s wrestling coach as he came up behind him. Russ stood there for a moment; it was impossible to tell from his expression whether he’d burst into tears or punch Anna’s head off. Finally he stepped back and was guided away.

After the Russ was out of the cafeteria the other students relaxed. How does that phrase go? someone asked Anna. Fool Around and Find Out?

Anna just sat in her seat and stared at her lunch, silent and shaking.

Between the discovery that he couldn’t get his badges and seeing Russ this close to committing murder, Markaius couldn’t focus for the rest of the day. He barely registered anything in class, and at the end of the day and got into his CarCycle and headed off.

He didn’t know how long he’d pedalled, but somehow he found himself at the old Highwood Gas and Grocery. It closed down for good after Mr. Ottey’s death a couple years ago and was increasingly dilapidated for want of a buyer. The sun was getting low on the horizon, so Markaius went in. He walked through aisles of empty shelves, occasionally slapping a dead insect to the dusty floor. Finally he stood before the soda fridge that had replaced the cabinet. ...Should’a just let the stupid thing be thrown out, he growled. He turned over a bucket and sat on it, bending over, resting his arms on his legs and hanging his head.

He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there when he heard Mr. Gruffy’s voice. Mark’us? I saw yer pedal car outside. Yer in ’ere?

Markaius jolted from his thoughts as he heard Mr. Gruffy’s voice. Yeah, I’m here.

He heard Mr. Gruffy dialing on his cell phone, and then him telling someone, ’e’s ’ere. In Durnot’s ol’ store. Mr. Gruffy came down the aisle, and upturned a crate so he could sit on it. Yer parents were worried when I tol’ them yer ’adn’t come t’ work.

Markaius braced himself for a When I Was Your Age lecture from an old geezer who just didn’t get it. After some silence, Mr. Gruffy said Russ tol’ me about th’ badges. I wish I’d known that was yer goal. I would ’ave tol’ yer.

Markaius just looked at the floor. Finally he sighed, Yeah. First world problems. I shouldn’t feel like this.

After a long silence, Mr. Gruffy sighed, pulled out his pipe, filled it with tobacco, lit it, and took a long drag before blowing a large smoke ring. Markaius hadn’t known Mr. Gruffy smoked. I’m not going t’ lie, missin’ out on a few badges... that’s not much in th’ big picture. But that not th’ real problem, is it? What yer feelin’ is a great big load o’ disappointment. Yer mastered the game, yer nearly rebuilt blinkin’ cabinet—and got absolutely nowt f’r it. Yer worked ’ard for th’ prize, and it was only a... mirage. I know that’s what yer feelin’, because I’ve been there. Worked ’ard, an’ got nowt.

Markaius stared at the floor, and finally nodded. Yeah. I wanted those badges so badly, but when I could finally reach them... they were gone. I never had a chance.

The two sat in silence for a while, before Mr. Gruffy spoke again. I’m an ol’ badger, Mark’us. I’ve known a lot o’ folks in me life. A lot o’ folks. An’ some of the most bitter, miserable souls I’ve known are those who can’t get over owt they couldn’t or didn’t do or get. And they define their lives on that, and it just eats them and eats them and finally consumes them. He took another drag and blew a few more smoke rings. But ’ow about yer? What else did yer get out of that cabinet? Markaius didn’t answer, so Mr. Gruffy continued. Well, if yer ’adn’t bought th’ game, maybe yer wouldn’t ’ave gotten into electronics. And yer wouldn’t be me apprentice now.

Markaius was about to answer when he heard his mom call out, Markaius! Oh, thank heavens you’re okay! She and Dad came up the aisle and embraced him tightly. We were so worried when Mr. Gruffy said you hadn’t shown up for work! I thought you’d been in an accident! We were looking all over for you!

Markaius’s ears went flat as he realized the sheer level of panic his parents must have felt. I’m sorry... he mumbled.

It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re alive. But now I really need some herbal tea to calm my mind, she said.

The Gruffys and Alsatens gathered at a local coffee shop run by Mr. Gruffy’s wife. Markaius learned to his dismay that even Russ, Jaykan, and Anja had joined in the search, and he admitted that after that day at school he’d just gotten into his CarCycle and ridden it at random and found himself at the old Gas and Grocery—but he had no idea how long he’d pedalled for.

So, clearly something happened, said Dad. This morning I found your envelope to Characo games on the kitchen table and a letter saying it was out of business on the floor.

...I was trying to earn the badges. All of them. Only to find out that Characo Games went out of business before I was born.

Why did you want the badges? asked Mom.

Kraggan has the one for beating the game, Markaius confessed. Kraggan runs rings around me no matter what game we play and... and I was hoping to beat him on just one. Just... one game.

Sounds like you trying to keep up with your brothers, said Mrs. Gruffy, smiling at her husband, then looked at the others with a chuckle. Oh, the scrapes Bruce got in.

Cragge, pet? Those are tales for another time, said Mr. Gruffy with a smile.

Knowing Kraggan, I think he’d be happy to concede the win, said Anja. You could send your photos to him.

Markaius shrugged. It wasn’t the same, not when Kraggan had a badge and Markaius didn’t, but part of him knew his sister had a point.

You know, even if you don’t get your badges, there’s other things you could take pride in, said Mom. Why, just the other day, I ran into Mrs. Diryk, and she asked me if it didn’t drive me crazy that you rode your CarCycle all over creation. I told her, no, if you ruined it, it was your money down the drain; not mine and not Lawry’s. And it’s true! Mr. and Mrs. Diryk bought one for Anna, and I just know she nibbles her claws to the quick every time Anna takes it out of the garage. But you bought your own!

Could only afford the cheapest—

Doesn’t matter, Mom said. You bought it yourself, and I am so proud of you. You even wired it and Russno’s up yourself, which I’m very proud of.

Wired ’em up, proper schematic an’ all! agreed Mr. Gruffy. See what dealin’ wi’ all th’ trouble th’ cabinet threw at yer taught yer?

Dad nodded. Also taught you some humility. When the screen went on the fritz, you finally accepted that you were in over your head. I know some who would have ignored all warnings, and it rarely went well at all. Seriously, son: you might not have gotten the goals you wanted, but as you get older, I hope you learn to appreciate what you accomplished along the way: your apprenticeship, your CarCycle, your electric and electronic knowledge, your essays which I hear were impressive, and the fact that you stuck to a goal until you achieved it. Even if you didn’t get the badges for a perfect game, chasing that goal earned you plenty of other things.

After they exited the coffee shop, Markaius said he wanted to talk to Russ in private. Once the others had left, the two headed off to a nearby park and sat on a bench. Was any of Anna’s crap true? Markaius asked

Russ sighed. Pretty much all of it. Accordin’ t’ me parents, I was slow t’ walk, slow t’ talk... after I flunked first grade, they dropped me off at me grandparents, an’ He took a deep breath. They never came back.

Now I feel like crap over getting upset over some stupid badges.

It’s all right. Yer only were upset fer a day or two. If yer’d complained all month, I’d’a smacked yer.

How did Anna know?

’Er parents an’ me parents—he made finger quotes—are next-door neighbours.

Wait... does this mean that Aouma Salamand is your little sister? He’d only heard of Aouma as a very studious pupil who had thus far skipped a couple of grades.

Russ nodded. Aye. We don’t talk much, though. He turned to look Markaius in the eye. I want yer t’ understand owt. I never ’ad a name until me grandparents gave me th’ one I ’ave. D’ yer understand?

Absolutely, Russno Zayngray Gruffy. The two bumped fists.

Russ gave a wry half-smile. That’s why I took yer learnin’ so much from me grandpa so ’ard.

I wish I’d known, but I just... never clued in.

Russ shook his head. Grandpa made it clear yer were ’is apprentice an’ nothin’ more. Despite what Anna says, me life isn’t bad. Me grandparents are good an’ lovin’ folks. Yer pa is a good boss. I’m doin’ okay.

The two sat together for a while, before Markaius said, We better get going before we freak our families out again.

When Markaius came back home, he checked on the forum thread. He discovered that his cousin had made a reply and Markaius was unable to make any new posts.

Is Characo Games Still Around?

Lord_Danloc

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Moolah Hunter, take five. In fact, take a month’s probation. Your reply was out of line and honestly, we moderators are getting tired of your attitude.

StarJamKid, I'm sorry, but I have to put on my moderator hat and put you on probation as well. You can read the forums, but you won't be able to post for now. You've made a VERY serious accusation, and according to the rules, this accusation MUST be investigated by at least two moderators and one other member in good standing with this forum.

If you can provide solid proof that Moolah Hunters' ROM is faulty, your probation will be lifted. If you can't, I may be forced to ban you permanently.

I'm sorry, but as a moderator, I cannot play favourites.

I am locking this thread, and any further threads on this topic will be deleted.

Markaius took a deep breath. It stung. He wished he could take back his angry post, but now he had to face the music. He decided to email his cousin to explain himself. He stared at the blank email for a while, then started slowly typing.

mkalsaten@lyycosnet.comm

k.alsaten@techraisesol.comp

Problem With The ROM

Dear Cousin Kraggan.

There is something wrong with the ROM, honest. The places where the ROM crashes are where you enter the sidequests. I know this because I have played the whole game, even the sidequests. Maybe I can film myself somehow. I don't have a camera but I'll try to work something out.

I love you.

A half-hour later, he got a reply.

k.alsaten@techraisesol.comp

mkalsaten@lyycosnet.comm

Re: Problem With The ROM

Dear Cousin Markaius.

First off, I really hope you understand that I had to be a moderator and could not play favourites. That's why I had to put you on probation.

And yes, after you left I realized that the ROM might be worse than I thought. The way you just zeroed in on those crash points and got more and more upset should have tipped me off that something was missing.

I'll see if I can arrange something with Uncle Lawry and get some mods etc. to watch you play.

In the meantime, could you send me a full list of sidequest entrances, please?

I love you too, Pupster.

School the next day was... interesting. Russ wasn’t there; he’d been suspended for threatening Anna, but Anna herself was very quiet for the whole day. The incident itself was the talk of school and most furs agreed Anna had gone too far this time and deserved to get the daylights scared out of her. Fool Around and Find Out and all that.

When he went to work after school, Mr. Gruffy called him over. I’d like t’ show yer owt, he said. When I was yer age, me and me friends started a band, a surf rock and first-wave ska fusion because surf rock was big back in the day and some of us were from Jamaica. We ’ad big plans back then. We were goin’ t’ tour th’ nation, be rock stars, ’ave a load of number-one ’its. We knew we were goin’ t’ be big. He chuckled ruefully. Back t’ reality, we ’ardly got any gigs outside of the county! Our band got absolutely nowhere. He pulled something out from under the counter. ’ere, this is for you. It’s th’ last album we all recorded t’gether.

Markaius looked over the CD Mr. Gruffy handed him. This was recorded a couple years ago!

That’s right! Just after we recorded this, ol’ Durnot Ottey died—’e was our trumpet player. But th’ rest of us are still together and we still play at th’ local bars. Just because it didn’t work out didn’t mean we threw th’ ’ole thing in a bin. We just accepted th’ fact that we weren’t goin’ t’ be big, took the gigs we got, and just enjoyed playin’ t’gether. He put his paw on Markaius’ shoulder. What I’m sayin is, sometimes yer ’ave t’ take yer victories where yer can find them, even if they’re not th’ victories you want. I ’ope yer keep enjoyin’ th’ game. He cocked his head. An’ maybe yer can learn to enjoy other games, too. Don’ give up on th’ badges. If yer can get them, go f’r them, but if yer never do, look back on what yer accomplished, an’ be ’appy for that.

Arrangements with Kraggan were made, Markaius sent the list and practiced the game, and about a month later, Kraggan arrived with his fellow investigators. Thanks for allowing this, Uncle Lawry. Like I said in my email, the accusation was one to be taken very seriously.

Not a problem. I understand where you’re coming from completely, said Dad, giving his nephew a hug.

SkaVenGerSam was a big, loud, and muscular female hyena named Bunmi Akata—but her handshake was surprisingly light. So you’re the one who insisted StarJamKid go the expensive route, she teased. Honestly, if it were my credit card on the line, I’d be choosey, too. Especially when buying for a total newbie..

The black panther—who looked like he’d just come back from a thrash metal concert—introduced himself as JudgeFromOnHigh, real name Josairan Canek. While he was a moderator and did forum maintenance, he generally stayed quiet unless things were really going off the rails.

The fourth fur was a fox named Tehrynce; he was none other than Moolah Hunter himelf. Something about Tehrynce set Markaius on edge, especially after he, unlike the others, did not shake Dad’s handpaw nor did he provide his full name. Well, since you called his father Uncle Lawry, I see why you were so quick to be lenient with StarJamKid, the fox said to Kraggan.

The look Dad gave him was a look he seldom even gave Anja’s boyfriends, a look that made it clear Dad wasn’t letting Tehrynce out of his sight.

The furs crowded into Markaius’s room. Josairan put his hand on the cabinet. Actually, Moolah Hunter, this is why Lord Danloc’s being, quote, lenient. Hasn’t it sunk in yet that StarJamKid has an actual, original cabinet? Or that someone with a cabinet may know something the rest of us don’t? He turned to Markaius and pulled a folded-up sheet of paper from his pocket and opened it up. We’re going to make this real easy. I have on this piece of paper a list of rules that you allegedly violated. If you can show us something wrong with the ROM—which all of us have played—that significantly affects gameplay aside from minor bugs or slow response, I will personally tear this piece of paper up, throw it away, and drop all charges. Sound good?

Markaius nodded, and plugged the cabinet in. He took a few deep breaths and started playing. Having an audience, especially with such high stakes, made him fumble in the first level. He accidentally blew up a civilian ship and took a few hits, but soon made it to the broken bay doors, and began the Boarding Action sidequest. He skipped through the text screens and started playing the Run-And-Gun, taking another couple of hits. He was sucking so badly!

Well, this is new... muttered Bunmi.

So that’s why you went there, said Kraggan quietly.

I think I know where this is going, said Josairan, the paper rustling.

Into the second level, Markaius had settled down and was back to acing the levels. He didn’t even goof around in Captain Malevolas, but only said, This is why it has two rows of buttons. It was on to The Living Asteroids and again, he did The Albino Asteroid at the first opportunity. And this is why it has a light gun.

Hold a sec. said Josairan before Markaius could begin the sidequest. Does every level have a side quest?

Markaius turned to look at him. Yeah. And they cycle between Run-And-Gun, fighting game, and light gun game. Three of each. Four of each if you count the boss levels, actually.

The panther slowly nodded. Proceed.

Markaius relaxed and returned to his game. He concentrated on taking down the rock monsters, and when the text screens finally displayed, he actually have the others time to read them. He knew this wasn’t going to be a perfect run, so taking a bit of damage didn’t bother him. The only sound in the room was that of the cabinet. When he got to Michellaplace Observatory, he mentioned it was called Michellaplace Station in the level select and it was the first sidequest he’d stumbled across. In the Infected Nebula he broke the silence saying that he only got to finish this level after he’d bought the cabinet. He went completely silent during the next five levels; the increased difficulty meant he had to concentrate. Finally, he paused at the screen that heralded the arrival of The Black Void Tyrant amd turned to them. Funny thing I found out: This boss has four levels. You always do the first, and doing any of the sidequests unlocks the boss level of that type. Since I did all three types, you get to see the whole boss fight. He blasted his way through the weaponry and docked his ship. He barely made it through Gauntlet, leaving no room for error when he took on General Dahrkxyyd and the same lack of margin for Showdown With The Tyrant. He took a deep breath as he turned to the others, noting his two siblings and mother had joined. And that was the full game of Star Jam Fighters. Sidequests and all.

Josairan calmly tore up the piece of paper he held. And that was every crash point in the ROM accounted for. Seriously, Tehrynce, did you even playtest it?

I don’t. Play. Video games. I simply find them, sell the cabinets that are actually worth something to collectors, and as for those that are worthless, I hire someone to do the ROM and send the cabinets to the dump. I thought I made that clear.

Do you make any attempt to find a buyer for the ones the collectors don’t want? asked Dad.

Kraggan snorted. Little Uncle, this is the guy who had the only other Star Jam Fighters cabinet known to still exist, got a generous offer from The Bizarrcade, and he threw it out instead.

Tehrynce coldly glared at Kraggan. It. Wasn’t. A. Collectable.

Are you serious? asked Anja in disbelief. Instead of getting money and letting other people enjoy it, you’d rather spend money on dump fees so nobody else can play it! ’Cause that’s why Mr. Ottey sold his for a buck! He didn’t have to pay the large appliance fee at the dump that way.

Tehrynce turned that cold glare to her. Clearly, you weren’t paying attention. I hire someone to make ROMs of them first.

Clearly you weren’t paying attention. Markaius just proved that at least one of your ROMs sucks. Anja looked at Tehrynce in disgust. You know who you remind me of? The local WuzzyFuzzle collector who actually hired a motor escort to guard him as he took all his WuzzyFuzzles to the dump after the bubble burst. Instead of, I dunno, selling them for a cheap to people who might actually enjoy them. The guy who runs the dump rescued all of them and sold them for like 5 cents each, and Aunt Hayley said she saw him at the bank the next week, rolling coins for hours. She shook her head. I swear. Some people are a special kind of stupid, some are a special kind of jerk, and some like you are a special kind of both!

Anja, warned Mom. Watch the attitude.

That stuffy rescuer sounds like a fur after my own heart, said Bunmi. I missed rescuing that Star Jam Fighters cabinet, but I’ve managed to rescue most of the rest Moolah Hunter had.

Tehrynce was about to say something, but Josairan and Kraggan, who had apparently been talking to each other, stepped forwards and stopped him from saying anything. Whatever you’re about to yell about, it’s gonna have to stay unyelled, said Josairan with a dangerous calm in his voice. We take accusations about faulty ROMs very seriously on the forum, and usually those accusations results with someone permabanned. If the accusation is false, then the accuser had better grovel a lot and have a real good explanation, or he’s off the forum for good. He stepped so he was almost nose-to-nose with Tehrynce. It’s a totally different story, Tehrynce Draykwell, if the accusation is true. Like, for example, the ROM doesn’t have any of the sidequests. He snorted. You screwed up big time.

By your own admission, you didn’t even try to do any playtesting or perform any sort of quality control, added Kraggan. One, I will be putting out a warning about this ROM. Two, every single other ROM you’ve put out is now suspect. Three, you will provide the name of the guy who programs them. And four, because I’m sick of you selling stuff at way above price and your attitude, I’m not even going to give you the chance to grovel as JudgeFromOnHigh puts it. As soon as I can, I’m banning you from every forum I’m a moderator on. Now get out of my sight.

Tehrynce’s expression was frozen in shocked bewilderment as Dad gripped him by the shoulder and firmly guided him out of the house.

So, question, said Bunmi to Markaius as Dad returned. Why did you try to get the badges?

Markaius took a deep breath. Cousin Kraggan has the badge for completing the game. I was hoping if I got the full set, I could say that there was one game—one game!—that he hadn’t totally schooled me at.

Kraggan smiled gently. If I could take that badge off my vest without ruining both, I’d give it to you in a heartbeat, Pupster. This win is all yours. He looked at the others. Even if I aced it myself right now, I’ve seen where the sidequests are. I know they’re a total genre shift. He had to learn all that the hard way, so yeah. Great big W there. He looked back at Markaius. I also owe you an apology. I was looking back at our PMs and I realized I should have been clearer. When I said Star Jam Fighters was the worst kind of flop? I meant it was the kind of game that killed the company. So far as I know, it’s the only game Characo Games ever put out.

Josairan chuckled. Shame, too. Looked like four games that could’a been decent all crammed into that cab. Thing must have been expensive as a gold-digger’s jewelry.

Speaking of which, said Bunmi, You gonna do a proper ROM of it now, Lord Danloc?

Kraggan turned to Markaius. May I, sometime? Not right now, I do have to get back to Arkeson, but if this game has four different genres stuffed into it, I’m looking at four totally different chipsets somehow bashed together and... I just love a challenge!

Sure!

After they were gone, Mom came up to her son. Well, you heard him, she said gently. Kraggan said it himself: you win. Is it enough? Are you happy?

Markaius nodded quietly. Yeah. I am. I don’t have the badges—probably never will, but yeah. I am.

Mom hugged her son. I’m glad.

Badges Of Star Jam Fighter

Time passed. Markaius had just hung a picture of himself in his graduation gown on the wall right next to a photo of him and Russ with their home-made pinball game Junkyard Mainframe. They’d had won third prize in last year’s science faire and both of them got a nice windfall when Tagrung and Fernie Rudder purchased it afterwards. His college application with a major in Electronics Engineering sat on his desk, waiting to be filled out. Jaykan had started programming as a hobby. He’d learned the joy of coding webpages by hand from old tutorials and made a few games, and this led him to become Mr. Gruffy’s apprentice alongside Markaius; software yin to Markaius’s hardware yang. Russ was still learning that Sturdiness Is Next To Godliness wasn’t always an accurate mantra, as evidenced by Markaius’s new computer desk, which could have the house fall on it and come out more or less intact. Anja had become a goth, and her skill at sewing and embroidery had allowed her to amass a truly impressive—if somewhat monochromatic—wardrobe.

The arcade cabinet was now out in the living room where anyone could play it. Markaius had received a generous offer for it from the Rudder brothers at the same time they’d bought the pinball machine, but the cabinet had meant too much to him at the time to sell. But now he was reconsidering, as he seldom played it anymore unless Jaykan asked him to; having aced it literally dozens of times meant the game had gotten stale, especially after he’d giving Kraggan’s ROM and emulator such a thorough playtesting. On his shelf was a photo album showing photos of him posing with the cabinet displaying the Ultimate Star Jam Fighter badge screen (a camera with a timer was such a wonderful thing), photos of gameplay, and even a picture of the quadruple chipset in the game and the envelope he’d originally sent to Characo Games.

And, to the eternal consternation of their mother, both pups had picked up some of Mr. Gruffy’s accent.

As Markaius sat down at his computer and booted it up, Anja came in. Brother. Dearest.

Yes, Spookysis? he said, trying to hide a smile as he looked back at her.

Anja came in, her facefur dyed purest white but with intricate black patterns over each eye and black lipstick impeccably applied. She also wore a long black gown (which she’d made herself) with a pattern of small grey skulls and dark purple roses embroidered down each sleeve; her becoming a Goth was the source of his nickname for her. She sat in the empty chair next to Markaius, poised in the prim and proper posture of the profoundly peeved—but the corners of her lips betrayed her amusement. Hast thou knowledge of a disgustingly effeminate video game that found somehow its way unto my computer? she asked most politely. A game of greatest insipidness and stupidity, adorned with such pink a very cheerleader wouldst cringe thereat? A game that starreth a witless, giggling fashionista?

Markaius grinned, opening his email program. Mmmmm... not finding a scent there. At least, not one I recognize.

She calmly laid her hand upon his shoulder. This game, the name of which is called Super Duper Fashion Girl Conquers The Gloomious Frump?

Ooh! Email from Kraggan!

Her grip tightened, black-painted claws digging firmly into his shoulder.

Markaius squirmed in pain at her grip. AAAAAAAH! Okay, okay! I helped Jaykan program it!

She relaxed her grip. Knowest thou this: my wrath knoweth no bounds over this insult. Thou shalt pay most dearly.

You must have really hated it. I heard you play it three times this morning.

Played it, I did, that I might stoke mine heart into the most high dudgeon, she said.

Such high dudgeon you can’t even keep a straight face. He turned to her, grinning. April Fool’s, Spookysis!

Anja laughed, dropping all pretence of irk. I’m not really mad. For one thing, I appreciate the level of effort going into it, and second... well, I’ve seen worse pranks. She then forced her face back into a solemn mask. I shall leave thee to thine emails for now, she said. I must away, for a little brother have I, to torment and to punish. But makest thou mistake none: thou art next.

I quake in terror. After she left, Markaius opened the email and read.

k.alsaten@techraisesol.comp

mkalsaten@lyycosnet.comm

You'll never guess what I discovered.

I have good news.

For a while now I've been checking for any leads for Characo Games through my business contacts, and I managed to get into contact with the son of the former owner of Characo Games. And he still has most of the company’s assets, including the badges.

If you want to come to Arkeson GamerFur Convention, I can arrange for you to finally get your badges. The link to register is in Forum Announcements. What do you say, Pupster?

Markaius’s stared at the message for several minutes. At first his breath caught in his chest, then he started breathing deeply and slowly. He hadn’t played his game in ages—fursnarls, it hadn’t even been plugged in for months—but the promise of finally getting the badges brought a lump to his throat and an ache to his heart. He hadn’t realized how much he still wanted those badges.

He typed out his reply as he heard Jaykan laughing and yelping for mercy as Anja exacted her vengeance upon him.

mkalsaten@lyycosnet.comm

k.alsaten@techraisesol.comp

You'll never guess what I discovered.

I'd love to come. Gotta make arrangements with work and the parental units, though.

At breakfast the next day, Markaius told his family what Kraggan had discovered.

You haven’t played that game in months! said his mother. Why are you so excited about the badges now?

Because he finally has an actual chance of getting them after all this time? suggested Anja. I mean, that’s why he played the game so much in the first place.

Markaius nodded. I mean... yeah, Kraggan said I’ve definitively beat him at this game. But still... he shrugged, unable to find the words.

Well, I say yes, declared Dad. You earned those badges, after all, and I don’t see any problem with you going and receiving them. Just make arrangements with Mr. Gruffy first.

When he arrived at work after school, he said to Mr. Gruffy, The Arkeson Gamerfurs Convention is next month, and Cousin Kraggan has said the son of the owner of Characo Games could be there. And that he still has the badges.

Mr. Gruffy chuckled softly. Yer wants t’ go, don’t yer. I can see it in yer eyes.

Markaius nodded. It’s funny... I haven’t played the game in forever, but when he mentioned the badges, I felt like a little pup in the Highwood Gas and Grocery, standin’ on a crate to reach the controls.

Mark’us, go wi’ me blessing. I know ’ow long yer’ve wanted these badges. What are th’ dates?

Got ’em right here. Markaius pulled out a piece of paper and Mr. Gruffy winced a bit.

I’d love t’ go wi’ yer, but I promised Russno I’d take ’im t’ th’ Four-County Woodworkers Association Convention th’ same weekend. Mr. Gruffy then wrote out and put up a sign, stating that next month, the store would be closed while they were on vacation.

mkalsaten@lyycosnet.comm

k.alsaten@techraisesol.comp

Re: You'll never guess what I discovered.

Mr. Gruffy says I can go! He wishes he could go, but he’s going to the Four-County Woodworkers Association Convention on the same weekend.

k.alsaten@techraisesol.comp

mkalsaten@lyycosnet.comm

Re: You'll never guess what I discovered.

Oh, I know all about that convention! It’s being held in what’s usually our overflow hotel on the other side of the parking lot. I swear, it’s like our lives are being written by a hack author straining for coincidence. A lot of guys who are into cabinet building are actually buying passes for BOTH conventions, so we’re staying in contact with them.

Looking forward to seeing you!

Back at school, Markaius rode his CarCycle and parked it, locking it to the bike racks.

Russ arrived not long afterwards. ’Eard yer cousin found someone wi’ th’ badges, he said, locking his CarCycle up as well.

He told me he never stopped looking after I demonstrated the whole game to him, and yeah, finally got in contact with the son of the owner of Characo Games. He looked over Russ’s CarCycle. Changed the body again? Looks really cool! he said, noting that Russ had changed the body to resemble that of a car from the 1920s.

Thank yer! Was lookin’ through a book of ol’ cars, an’ I saw one that looked tubular.

What do you do with the old bodies?

Oh, I keep ’em in storage. In case I want t’ go back t’ one.

I still got the one you originally made.

Russ grunted. Yeah, that was an embarassin’ slop job. I look at yers, and I can’t ’elp but think about what a kook I was back then.

Oh, I dunno. Works fine for me—though I wish I had room for more tools. There was a slight lull. Looking forwards to the woodworkers convention?

Russ smiled. Absolutely. You looking forward to th’ gamerfur?

Big time. We’ll have to work out which one we see each other at!

Russ laughed as the two headed off to their classes.

May finally arrived; As Dad was going to the FCWAC, Jaykan wanted to go with Markaius to the AGC, and Anja was being taken to the latter by her boyfriend Loban (a wolf that towered over even Dad), Mom decided she’d come along just for a vacation to Arkeson. Russno was going with both his grandparents, and he and Markaius had made plans to meet up for lunch on each day.

They arrived at the hotels’ shared parking lot. In the middle of the lot there were large signs with twinkling lights around the edges showing which hotel was hosting which convention. At the desk where those who had pre-registered could get their badges, there was a large sign that stated, FCWAC Registrations Are Completely Seperate From AGC And Are In The Other Hotel!. Markaius gave his name and got his badge, proudly sporting the name StarJamKid. As he put his badge on, the otter who gave it to him picked up a two-way radio. Lord Danloc? StarJamKid is here, at prereg.

Ask him to stay in the lobby! came Kraggan’s voice over the radio. And make sure he has his photo ready!

Just stay in the lobby; Lord Danloc is coming. You have a photo of you with the game?

Markaius nodded and pulled out his photo album from his suitcase. He stood near the center of the lobby, looking around, with his photo album. Before long, Kraggan came into view, with a middle-aged tiger following. Hey, Cousin Kraggan!

Heya, Pupster! Markaius, this is Tolston Characo, son of the owner of Characo Games. Mr. Characo, this is Markaius Alsaten, the one who aced your dad’s game.

Pleased t’ meet you, Mr. Characo, said Markaius.

And pleased to meet you, said the tiger. May I see the photo of you showing the cabinet screen? Markaius nodded and opened up the album. Mr. Characo took it and leafed through it. These pictures bring back very old memories. Dad had a very bad habit of overcomplicating things. He paused as he saw the envelope, then gave a long sigh. Was this how you found out Characo Games was out of business? he asked as he handed the album back. He shook his head when Markaius nodded. I am so very sorry to hear that.

Yeah, said Markaius. It sucked.

So, here’s the plan. said Kraggan. The Woodworkers Convention and the GamerFurs Convention has decided to have a joint awards banquet, and that’s when you’ll get your badges. Sound good?

Sounds perfect! said Markaius.

Oh, and Pupster? You really have picked up Mr. Gruffy’s accent!

The two conventions had so much overlap in attendance that convention goers could get a schedule that showed the events for both events, so it was not a surprise when Mr. Gruffy joined Markaius at a retro electronics panel.

Good afternoon, I’m Arven Aponaphelma, and welcome to my panel, said the presenter, an elderly bear. Aside from my friend Bruce Gruffy here, I’m sure none of you have seen anything like this. He showed a large mainframe with rows and rows of vacuum tubes.

Markaius grinned and raised his hand. I have!

Balderdash, son, unless you’ve been to a museum.

Not balderdash, said Mr. Gruffy. ’E’s seen th’ control room at th’ ol’ Lansden Metals mill.

Ah, fair enough. Have they got their new plant up yet?

Mr. Gruffy shrugged. I don’t know if it’s done yet, but they’re workin’ on it.

Markaius listened closely as Mr. Aponaphelma took them through a very quick tour of computing history, condensing nearly a century of technology—vacuum tubes, transistors, the earliest microchips, and so on—into a paltry hour. The presenter apologized for not having time for more, but they were already five minutes over, and the next panelist was getting impatient.

As they left, Mr. Aponaphelma and Mr. Gruffy greeted each other. This young pup is me apprentice, an’ th’ last time Lansden Metals called for me, I brought ’im along so ’e could see it wi’ ’is own eyes, said Mr. Gruffy. But Roulsten said t’ me that th’ Board o’ Directors ’ad decided t’ go wi’ th’ new plant. Might be up an’ runnin’, I ’aven’t ’eard. Kraggan would know.

Mr. Aponaphelma turned to Markaius. Then you are a fortunate pup to have seen something that old.

At dinner of the night of their arrival, the Alsatens and Gruffys sat together, and Russ was abuzz about a wood joining panel he’d been at. It all just... locked together so perfectly! I’ll ’ave t’ start tryin’ that! he said.

I’ve got some designs you can start with, said Dad.

The convention passed too quickly; the awards dinner approached too slowly. Markaius visited the dealer’s den, talked with some furs, and even played a few games at the arcade that was set up in one room. Mom bought a day pass on the second day just to check things out, while Anja and her boyfriend managed to keep Jaykan in line. At night, he and Russ—who were rooming together, sat up talking about their respective conventions. Russ was learning about woodcuts and other artistic techniques, while Markaius learned about actually programming games and being a VidTuber and Let’s-Player.

And finally, it was time for the FCWAC/AGC Joint Awards Banquet. When the Alsatens and Gruffys arrived, Markaius realized why they were holding a joint event—both conventions were small enough that even together they didn’t fill the hall. Markaius noticed that a TV station was there, which he thought was pretty awesome.

They sat down with SkaVenGerSam (who had come with her husband Oltan), Tolston Characo, and the Rudder brothers. The buffet was pretty good and expansive. Once they had their food and sat down, Tolston mentioned he thought he’d seen Markaius and Russ before on television; something to do with a pinball game.

Yer should ’ave their original plans, said Mr. Gruffy. Vacuum tubes, dekatrons, nixie tubes... I said to Mark’us, ’Ave yer any idea what all that would cost?! Then I showed ’im a price list. Just th’ nixie tubes. An’ yer could just see ’im wilt.

Fernie Rudder nodded. Big dreams, small wallet he said with sympathy. Even Tagrung and I have had to reconsider plans because we just didn’t have the budget.

Markaius smiled ruefully. Yeah, we originally were going to call it Frankenstein’s Mainframe, but when Russ and I realized we’d never be able to afford building it, we came up with the idea of building a pinball machine out of junk. You know, old VCR displays to display the score and game messages, bits and pieces of metal and wire to build the ramps and so on, other junk for the board dressing—the only thing I really bought were the parts that make pinball pinball. And Russ built the body and backboard out of scrap wood. We were hoping and praying that we’d be somewhere on the honourable mention list. He leaned forward. We. Got. Third!

Now I remember. said Tolston with a smile. You yelled something about placing.

PleaseOhPleaseOhPlease tell me it still exists! begged Oltan. That thing looked amazing!

We have it! said Tagrung. It’s in the Bizarrcade with the rest of the pinball machines! He turned to Markaius and Russ. And I promise you both that it’s in the arcade proper and not in the Dungeon of Dreck.

Fernie nodded. We bought it off them just after the science faire. Tagrung has always loved the rare and the obscure, and a total one-off for a community science faire was just the thing! And it’s weird enough that furs just have to play it once, and good enough that they want to play it again. He looked at Russ. So you’re the reason I just about needed a crane to get it in! Mother of lilypads, that thing was heavy!

How often do you still play Star Jam Fighters? Tagrung asked Markaius.

Markaius shook his head. I hardly play it anymore. And Jaykan’s taken a shot at it a few times, but not all that often.

Jaykan shrugged. Sorry, but space shooters just aren’t my thing.

Have you given any thought to our offer? asked Tagrung.

Yeah, I have, admitted Markaius. I’m looking at college, and I’ve been wondering what to do with it.

If you decide to sell it, the offer is still open. We will place it where it can be enjoyed by one and all.

Tolston handed over his business card. If you buy it, I still have the rest of the badges. The minimum order was one thousand of each, and I think my dad gave out half a dozen completion badges and none of the rest. Each of the sidequests? This pup is the first to get them. The goals? He’s the first. The Ultimate badge... you get the picture. I literally have hundreds of each. Heh, I still have the prototype arcade games Dad was developing before his stroke. I don’t know if you want them, but...

Unreleased prototypes? asked Tagrung. You, sir, have just described a collector’s. Holy. Grail.

Kraggan and a big male wolverine went up to the microphone at the front of the room. Kraggan spoke first. Hey, everyone. I want to thank everyone for coming to the joint Four-County Woodworkers Association Convention and Arkeson GamerFurs Convention Joint Ceremony. I’m Kraggan Alsaten, the chair of the Arkeson GamerFurs Convention, and with me is Harv Wuffner, the chair of the Four-County Woodworkers Association Convention. Mr. Wuffner will now introduce our guests of honour, then he and I will take turns presenting the awards of our respective conventions

Markaius had never heard of the Guests of Honour. He tried to follow their speeches, but those speeches went in one ear and out the other. It was the same for the awards, except when Russ learned he’d won a raffle for a carpenter’s toolset.

Then Markaius perked up as Tolsten Characo came to the podium.

First of all, I want to clear up a rumour. Some of you may know—probably because of a young dog here—that Characo Games made Star Jam Fighters. Now, the rumour I’ve heard is the game was such a flop it killed the company. That’s not quite true. It was a flop, it hurt the company badly—then Dad had a stroke, and that’s what killed the company. He paused a moment, then continued. A few weeks ago, I got a big surprise. A dog named Kraggan Alsaten reached out to me and asked if I knew anything about Characo Games and in particular the game Star Jam Fighters. I had no idea how he’d heard of either, but I replied and explained my connection to the company, that Doestov Characo was my late father, so I knew what he was talking about. He then explained the situation his cousin was in and asked if I had any of the badges. I responded that I had nearly all of them, mostly because I hated the thought of just throwing out the stuff Dad had worked so hard for. But that wasn’t the real surprise. He took a drink of water. The real surprise was learning that somebody had, after all these years, earned all the badges. He spread his arms in surprise. Excuse me? You mean to tell me that there’s at least one cabinet left? And even more than that, somebody plays it?! He waited for the laughter to die down. But yes. There was a cabinet, and that cabinet had a player. A player who actually, finally, aced the game. So Kraggan and I agreed it was only proper that the first Ultimate Star Jam Fighter be given his badges at a proper awards ceremony. StarJamKid, please come up.

There was a round of applause as Markaius got up and came up to the podium, where Mr. Characo handed him a wooden cigar box. Markaius shook his paw, Kraggan’s paw, and Mr. Wuffner’s paw, then opened the box, fished out the Ultimate Star Jam Fighter from all the other badges, and held it high as the crowd cheered.

Markaius went to the microphone. Thanks, everyone, he said. Thank you, Mr. Gruffy, for teaching me how to fix the cabinet. Thank you, Kraggan, for tracking these down. And thank you, Mr. Characo, for hanging on to these for so long! Markaius hugged his cousin and shook Mr. Characho’s paw again. Then Markaius put the badge back in the box, and went back to his table, unable to stop grinning.

He held the box closely, too excited to listen to the rest of the awards.

You know what might be a cool idea? said Anja. I know those are supposed to go on a vest, like Loban’s battle vest, but I could put together a wall hanging for you. Then you don’t have to worry about outgrowing the vest or getting it ruined in the wash.

I’ve lost some good badges that way, rumbled Loban.

That’s actually a neat idea! said Markaius.

So, you have your badges, said Tolston as he rejoined them. You have achieved something you wanted all your life. Now what?

Well, I have my apprenticeship with Mr. Gruffy and once I graduate high school, I’ll be taking a course in electronics engineering before returning to the store to work alongside him.

Won’t be f’r long, said Mr. Gruffy. Once Jaykan finishes ’is apprenticeship and yer done yer course, I’m gettin’ ready t’ retire.

Markaius stared at him in surprise.

Mark’us, I’ve got yer and Jayken t’ take over th’ shop, th’ vacuum tube systems that th’ likes of Lansden Metals asked f’r ’elp on bended knee are all gone, an’ I’m in me seventies! I’m ol’, I’m tired, an’ I’d like t’ take a rest.

Well, I’m glad to hear that you have goals beyond a few badges, said Tolston. Make no mistake, I’m glad you achieved this, but it’s good to know that you have other goals, too.

To be honest, sir, said Markaius, my real goal was achieved a few years ago. Kraggan finally admitted that I beat him. It was only in Star Jam Fighters, but he had to admit I beat him!

Tolston just laughed.

After the banquet, Markaius headed back to his room, but he could barely sleep for excitement—which meant he slept on the way home.

Life went right back to normalcy after the conventions. On the first day, several students mentioned they’d seen him on television, some teachers asked him about his plans now that he had his badges, but by the middle of the week, his accomplishment was already old news and thus forgotten.

It didn’t bother Markaius, after the glee of getting the badges at long last had faded, they went from a glorious monument of victory to a satisfactory trophy of achievement.

Near the end of the week, he was unlocking his CarCycle from the school bike rack when he saw Anna approaching.

So. After so much effort, you’re still not cool.

Markaius took a deep breath. Of course Anna would have something to say—and he realized that he truly did not care. Hi, Anna.

How does it feel, discovering you’re not cool? Where are your adoring fans? The paparazzi? The headlines?

Where did you get the idea that’s what I was after? asked Markaius. I’m cool in the eyes of those I care about, and that’s good enough for me. My cousin admitted I beat him, Mr. Gruffy has promised I’ll take over his shop from him, and I have my badges. I’m good.

I don’t think you’re cool.

I’m cool in the eyes of people I care about, he reiterated firmly. He looked over at the bike rack. You know... it’s funny. You used to tease me about how my CarCycle was too big. But I haven’t seen yours in ages. Did you lose interest in it? Decided it was too pink?

Anna rolled her eyes. I grew out of it, she said with singsong annoyance. Idiot.

Markaius looked down at his CarCycle. The paint job was peeling, some of the panelling had chipped where he’d accidentally hit something, and those tyres really needed to be replaced. I didn’t. I bought this size so I’d grow into it. I’ll be riding it until either the frame gives out or my heart does. He looked up at her. I guess what I’m saying is... I can still ride my CarCycle. My cabinet got me into electronics, so I have a career path. People don’t care about my badges? Fine. I’m cool with not being cool. He shrugged calmly. Basically, you have nothing to say to me. Yap yap yap. Arf arf arf. Woof woof woof.

FINE!. Be that way! Anna furiously turned her back to him, whereupon Markaius moved his CarCycle so it was pointed towards the road, got in, and started riding away. See? This is me ignoring you! I’m not paying attention to you. How do you like it? You’re not going to get my attention, sorry. As he continued to pedal away, he heard her full-bore shriek. WHAT!?!?!? HOW DARE YOU?!?! Either she’d turned around or someone had told her he’d left her standing there. Either way, he wasn’t looking back.

Work was refreshingly mundane—an old lady came in with a laptop that was blaring a warning about some malware, and she was too scared to call the phone number displayed. Markaius assured her that her fears were justified and she did the right thing to bring it in. He cleaned the malware off her laptop and sent her on her merry way. A guy wanted his amplifier repaired; these amps were the only vacuum tube tech Markaius saw anymore. And Mr. Gruffy began teaching him the paperwork of running a small business.

Once he got home, Anja met him. Hey, Markaius. I’ve got something for you, she said. She then showed him the wall hanging that she’d made. It was framed in wood and had a backing of deep navy denim. Across the top was embroidered in gold-coloured thread: The Badges Of The Ultimate Star Jam Fighter. Beneath the title were the badges, arranged as best she could as they were displayed on the Star Jam Fighters Badge screen: just under the the title were Mission Complete, The Mightiest Fighter, Evasive Manuvers, No Quarter Given and Know Thine Enemy in a single row with a gold border above and a gold border beneath, each going from one side to the other. At the bottom arranged in a three by three grid were the Sidequest badges. This set of badges was bounded on the top and bottom by two gold borders as well. Each column had a yellow rectangle embroidered at the top; the gaps in the thread forming the letters: Run And Gun was on the far left, with Beat Them Back!, To The Rescue!, and It’s Sabotage! in a neat column beneath. The center column was Fighting, and the badges Lieutenant Of The Vanguard,A Warning To The Traitor, and Commander Vs. Commander beneath. And the right was the Shooter badges: Rock Versus Blaster, Depot Defense , and Flagship Shootout. At the very bottom, below the lowest gold border was an extra badge Anja designed herself: Star Jam Fighter Repair Technician. And in the center, in the middle of a double ring of gold embroidery, was the large Ultimate Star Jam Fighter badge.

This is beautiful, breathed Markaius, gently taking it from her handpaws. Then he looked at the bottom badge.What’s with this bottom one?

Well, you worked so hard to keep the cabinet itself going, I figured it should be commemorated, too.

Markaius laughed and hugged her. It’s really cool, Spookysis. It’s gorgeous.

I’ve taken some pictures of it. Mind if I put them on my site? You know, as an example?

Go ahead!

As Anja left to update her business website, Markaius went to hang the wall hanging in his bedroom—then had an idea. At dinner, he showed it to his family, and after dinner he hung it right beside the old cabinet. Then he plugged the cabinet in to play one more game for old times’ sake. Seeing Anja and Jaykan come in, he invited them to watch.

The year is 2525. The Furry Space Alliance has known peace for hundreds of years. But all that has changed. The evil Black Void Tyrant is intent on conquering the galaxy, and has sent his Dark Star fleet to invade the peaceful Furry Space Alliance

You, a champion Star Jam Fighter, have been sent to face this fearsome army and to take down the Black Void Tyrant.

Do not fail this mission! The Alliance needs you!

Level I: Port Invasion

The forces of the Black Void Tyrant’s vanguard, commanded by the brutal commander Morghass Torgh, are trying to conquer Fort Balsoth. Civilians flee for their lives as enemy craft swarm the port. Take out his vanguard, but be careful not to harm any of the fleeing civilians.

Enter The Fray!

His tail wagged as he played the game; it was hard to imagine how he had once found Boarding Action to be so difficult.

Picking up interest again? asked Dad when he came in.

Just a playthrough for old times’ sake, said Markaius. I emailed the Bizarrcade and told them I was taking them up on their offer. And if I want to play it again, I’ve got Kraggan’s ROM. I know that works because I tested it myself. He thrashed Naraashun as usual, blasted away The Albino Asteroid’s rock monsters, cleared out the Girshon Nebula, and ultimately battled his way through the four levels of The Black Void Tyrant, all without getting a scratch.

As the Ultimate Star Jam Fighter Badge screen showed, Anja took the camera he’d readied. Say, Cheese!

Cheese!

The family then looked at the picture she’d taken, showing him, the wall hanging, and the cabinet in between. You look so much happier in this photo than you did in the last photos you took of you beating the game, noted Mom.

Markaus chuckled. Anyone else want a go? he asked. Seeing the rest shake their heads and head out, he took a picture of the cabinet with the wall hanging beside it, then unplugged the cabinet. He then went to his room and hung the Badges of the Ultimate Star Jam Fighter beside his graduation photo. He stepped back and looked at it for a while, then allowed himself a fist pump.

When he came back into the living room, he paused as he saw the cabinet that had shaped his puphood standing there, silent and somehow forlorn. Glancing around to make sure he was alone, he came over to it with a wistful smile and laid his hand on its side. I hope others enjoy you as much as I did, he said softly. Goodbye.

Epilogue

Hey, everyone, I am StarJamKid, and welcome to a very special Let’s Play! First of all, you’ll see that I’m at an arcade and not at home. This is The Bizzarcade in Arkeson, home of obscure and rare pinball machines and arcade cabinets, including this: the last known remaining Star Jam Fighter cabinet.

So, a bit of background on my handle: Star Jam Fighters is an arcade game that defined my childhood and shaped my life, and that’s no exaggeration. I’ve been playing ever since I was a pup, and what you’re seeing on my screen right now is me when I needed a stepstool to reach the controls, back when it was in the Highwood Gas and Grocery. In fact, I bought this very cabinet from Highwood Gas and Grocery when the late Mr. Ottey decided to get rid of it and ultimately aced the game; my Ultimate Star Jam Fighter Badge Set wall hanging should be... here? Somewhere on the screen. After I got my badges, I sold the cabinet to The Bizzarcade so others could enjoy it, too. By the way, The Bizzarcade has the stockpile of all the old badges for this game.

Playing this game got me into video games in general, maintaining the cabinet is what got me into electronics, the electronics engineer community, and most importantly introduced me to Mr. Bruce Gruffy, who took me in as his apprentice and got me into electronic repair and design.

Those of you who follow my channel already know, but for those of you who don’t, a few months ago, the world lost Mr. Gruffy. As today would have been his birthday, this special playthrough is dedicated to him.

So, Mr. Gruffy, I hope you’re having an awesome 85^th birthday up there, and thank you for... for everything!

And now, everyfur, I! Welcome! You! To! Let’s Play Star Jam Fighters!

The year is 2525. The Furry Space Alliance has known peace for hundreds of years. But all that has changed. The evil Black Void Tyrant is intent on conquering the galaxy, and has sent his Dark Star fleet to invade the peaceful Furry Space Alliance

You, a champion Star Jam Fighter, have been sent to face this fearsome army and to take down the Black Void Tyrant.

Do not fail this mission! The Alliance needs you!

Level one: Port Invasion. The forces of the Black Void Tyrant’s vanguard, commanded by the brutal commander Morghass Torgh, are trying to conquer Fort Balsoth. Civilians flee for their lives as enemy craft swarm the port. Take out his vanguard, but be careful not to harm any of the fleeing civilians.

Enter The Fray!